Friday, February 26, 2010

Kids on the Ocean

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3. If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7)

4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5. A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, a woman and some pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 8)

9. I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers at night. (Christopher, age 7)

11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat butt. (Julie, age 7)

14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

Hat tip: Dr. Vern B.


  1. These are hysterical~ Loved the dolphin one. I know a few people like dolphins. Just saying.

    Big hugs, Sandee!

  2. Oh thanks Sandee for that great laugh this morning. Those are really really funny.
    And thanks so much for your great comment on our blog. You are such a good person and I sure am glad to know someone else with funny gray hair. LOL

  3. oh dear. Funny, yes. A little too knowing in some cases. Thanks for the first laugh of the day. That's why you are first on my blog read list.

  4. Those are total knee slappers Sandee!

  5. Grownups could never get away with telling the truth like that. As hard as some of us may try. Funny.

  6. i am laughing so hard honey! number five was my favorite but they are all wonderful. truly fun to start my day laughing out loud!!!

    smiles, bee

  7. #5 is a winner. Kids do say the darndest things.

    Have a great w/e, Sandee. Big hugs...

  8. 9. I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

    That one almost made me cry. The rest were really cute, but I think that one is going to stick with me for awhile.

  9. Sandy, I had several laughs here! Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha!

    Amy's is sad, poor kid with nothing to write. The ex-sailor (last one) who got married will make most men smile.

    We should write down the clever things the kids in our lives say. Later when they grow up we can use those sayings against them.

    My kids cringe when I tell them some of the things they have said.

    Have a nice week end, go someplace nice, eat things you like, sleep in, :)

  10. hahaha...I enjoyed the octopussy joke! have a great weekend!

  11. My wife is thinking about going back to sea as well.

  12. These are just priceless. Out of the mouths of babes.....

  13. Kids do indeed say the darnedest things, don't they??

  14. this is hysterical.

    Hope you guys enjoy the's almost motorcycle weather.

  15. The ONLY reason I don't want my kids to grow up is for the HILARIOUS things that come out of their mouths.

  16. Breathtaking - as most of your posts - thanks for sharing!

    Happy weekend to you my friend :-)

  17. 8 and 9 are too funny, and a little sad at the same time. I've often wondered how mermaids get pregnant too.

  18. Oh my God, poor Amy and poor Amy's parents!

  19. gotta love kids, never know what's going to come out of their mouths

  20. HHAHAHAHA i love those kids..haha specially on #5...waaa hahahaha.

    Happy weekend Sandee.

  21. Oh my, they were all so darn funny! How cute, kids do say the darndest things...but I am so glad they do.

    Have a wonderful weekend Sandee!


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