Monday, August 31, 2009

August Top Droppers

3 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Awww...Mondays

27 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

5 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Butterfly Blogger Award

21 comments:
Jackie of The Painted Veil gave me the Butterfly Blogger award. Isn't it fabulous? Yes it is. Thank you so very much for always thinking of me Jackie. Big hug. She's also having an Entrecard contest so you might want to hop over there and join to win. She's offering up a free ad on her site for the month of October. Now that's an awesome prize.

What Time is it?

17 comments:
On some bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian, aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

Saturday, August 29, 2009

After Shave

27 comments:
An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.

The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Blonde

28 comments:
A guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar.

It hits a blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.

Each time the guy calls for another beer this happens.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Church Organist

33 comments:
There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

An Affair?

28 comments:
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Alan told his friend Don.

"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Don suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?"

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Empress Bee

No comments:
Empress Bee (of the High Sea) has a very special granddaughter who is getting married today. They have all got their dresses, the tuxedos are pressed, but for some silly reason the bride won't get dressed. In fact, they cannot wake her up at all as she was dreaming of her prince charming.

Girls vs Boys

27 comments:
You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she’ll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later.

You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he’ll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you’re driving there.

There there is this difference too.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Awards Monday

14 comments:
Annie of A Nice Place In The Sun gave me the You Cheer Me Up award. Thank you so very much Annie. I truly know what this award means to you. Big hug and lotsa lovies.

Here's what Annie has to say about this award:

Awww...Mondays

18 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

2 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Night on the Town

19 comments:
Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two geezers and whispers to her manager: "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Colonoscopies

31 comments:
On the subject of Colonoscopies.

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

Friday, August 21, 2009

Colonoscopy -Part II

20 comments:
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Colonoscopy - Part I

31 comments:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Question for the Gals

33 comments:
Look closely and see if you can figure out who this is...

Have a look! Still not sure?

Have another look... Again, look closer.

Still don't know who he is?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Impotence

30 comments:
An old guy had an appointment to see the urologist. As he approached the reception desk he saw that the woman there was large, unfriendly, and resembled a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

"YES," in a very loud voice, "YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

Monday, August 17, 2009

Awards

9 comments:
Mike of Rambling Stuff aka Golch Central gave me The Circle of Friends award. Thanks a million Mike.

The really cool thing about this award is there doesn't appear to be any rules. Okay, I'll admit that I didn't search for any either.

Project 2,996

11 comments:
On 9/11 I will contribute to Project 2996. Again we will pay tribute to those that lost their lives on that fateful day, and remind people of the lives lost. We must never forget and keep a vigilance that nothing like this happens again.

Awww...Mondays

15 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

3 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Pianist

18 comments:
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter.

The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Saturdays Funny

16 comments:
Fats consist of a wide group of compounds that are generally soluble in organic solvents and generally insoluble in water. Chemically, fats are triglycerides: triesters of glycerol and any of several fatty acids. Fats may be either solid or liquid at room temperature, depending on their structure and composition. Although the words "oils", "fats", and "lipids" are all used to refer to fats, in reality, fat is a subset of lipid. Source: Wikipedia

Friday, August 14, 2009

Friends

20 comments:
Thibodaux marches up to Beaudreaux's front porch and wraps hard on the door and Beaudreaux opens it.

Thibodaux say, "Beaudreaux, how long we ban frands?"

Beaudreaux say, "Well...all our lives Thibodaux."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Ugly Frog

31 comments:
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.

He whispered, 'I'm lonely too. Buy me and take me home. You won't ever be sorry.'

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Gennaro's New Shoes

33 comments:
Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Balance

37 comments:
God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Monday, August 10, 2009

Awards...

13 comments:
Mike of Rambling Stuff aka Golch Central awarded me the Love Ya award. Thanks a million Mike and I love ya too.

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated.

Awww...Mondays

35 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

4 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Senior Moment

27 comments:
A Preacher was explaining why he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There was a hush within the congregation because no one wanted him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"

Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Salesman

25 comments:
A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Florida and goes to a big everything-under one-roof department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?'

The kid says 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Wisconsin.'

Friday, August 7, 2009

White Lie

36 comments:
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Afghanistan Flight

41 comments:
While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, ect.

Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan.'

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

$200 Million

33 comments:
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $200 million."

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Seconds...

46 comments:
Rarely do we, without any expectation, just happen upon such a scene seconds before death (Chilling).

WARNING! GRAPHIC BOATING PHOTOGRAPH.

This is a picture of a man with just seconds left to live...

Monday, August 3, 2009

Questions

21 comments:
Shinade (Jackie) of The Painted Veil tagged me with the 37 Questions meme. The idea here is to pick 20 blogging friends, assign them numbers 1 through 20 and then answer the questions. Okay, sounds like fun.

Here's my twenty blogging friends:

Awww...Mondays

23 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

2 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Ministers Pay

19 comments:
There was a Minister whose wife was expecting a baby. The Minister went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Minister's family expanded, so would his pay check.

After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Minister's pay situation.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Little Boys...

22 comments:
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.

For those who have grown children, this is hysterical!
For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

July Top Droppers

2 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.