Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Welcome to Heaven

An 85-year-old couple had been married for 60 years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

 Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion furnished in gold and fine silks with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "Remember, this is your reward in Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.

"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free, every day."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them from seafood to steaks to exotic desserts, free flowing beverages.

"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bloody bran flakes. We could have been here 10 years ago!"

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories 'n' Ramblings
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  1. If that's Heaven, add to it no taxes, and yowza!

  2. And you won't need a boat, 'cause you can walk on water!!!

  3. Kind of saw that one coming, but its still a good lesson to learn. What's the point in going to heaven with a good looking corpse. Hahaha. Live life! That's what I say.

  4. Sandee, lol, nothing like wasted time to open you eyes.

  5. I think I'll have a cigar

  6. do they have cruise ships too???

    smiles, bee

  7. ;-) gotta love the old!

  8. Ha! That's a great way to look at it. Works for me!

  9. I hope it's still the same when I get there, hope I get there!

  10. YaY! We go to heaven to sin without problems!

  11. I'm looking forward to my heavenly reward! Hahahaha....

  12. Very funny! I guess it's all how you look at it.

  13. Count me in! Big smiles here...with big hugs included. I'm gonna miss my daily dose of Comedy Plus while on the cruise. Maybe I can drop by a time or two. I'll be thinking about you...

  14. LOL ... pretty funny ;-)
    Reminds me of one of my favorite films with Meryl Streep and Albert Brooks called DEFENDING YOUR LIFE ;-)
    Hugs and blessings,

  15. I'm gonna stop exercising and start eating fatty greasy foods right

  16. LOL! I bet that's how we will feel once we get there!

  17. Another funny post. Thanks Sandee for letting Gracie and me read it everyday. We can never have too much laughing.

  18. I thought old man could not live without his medicine, workouts and coffee even if it is heaven! disappointing!

  19. I am loving this one, so did hubby. I'm forwarding this one to my preacher friend.... she'll love it!

  20. Bwahahahaha! No more good food for me nor gym then :)
    Hugs from Ohio,

  21. Good one. They will get there even sooner with Obamacare!

    Sorry - couldn't resist

  22. Great story. Very cute. This is my first time here and I will be back.

  23. As funny as this is, it gives you a sense of how our lives here are just the initial testing grounds.
    I have often imagined heaven as a great golf course too!

  24. LOL that's right, no more bran flakes or watching what I eat. Going to enjoy myself here so I can enjoy even more when I go up to heaven. Of course with my luck the elevator will head down ;-)

  25. Sounds great !
    Count me in

  26. ahhhhhhahaha! he shouldn't blame her for not knowing any better.


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