Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Little Johnny

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.

The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD because Susie answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before because Mary answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD because Nancy answered first.

Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut".

The teacher asked, "Who said that?"

Johnny said, "Tiger Woods! Can I go now?"
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26 comments:

  1. Just what I needed to brighten up the start of my morning!!!

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  2. We also use Johnny for these kind of jokes in Portuguese. LOL "Joãozinho".
    I love this kind of joke!
    Good one.

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  3. HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Crude and funny ... I will be telling this at the truckstop for sure.

    ps: I do not feel sad for Mr Woods. He must now swim in his own pool of muck

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  4. I heard Tiger's faux pas was going to cost the golf industry millions and millions a year. I wonder if that means some of those millins will lean toward my industry? hmmm....

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  5. LOL! LOL! LOL! :D :D :D
    This whole Tiger Woods news on TV everyday is just too mush! :D

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  6. Did you know that PETA is upset with Tiger? They think he should use the name Lion or Cheetah.

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  7. hah! he has created quite the mess for himself hasnt he?

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  8. Maybe not first, but little Johnny always tees off with something ;)

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  9. Sandee,
    tigers biggest bogey

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  10. Too funny and very timely!!!

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  11. That's the best thing I've heard/read about Tiger Woods since this whole mess started and the media began bombarding us!

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  12. Hahaha! Now that's a joke worth repeating! Poor Tiger... could that guy really be that stupid?! Little Johnny got it right.

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  13. now this caught me by surprise... bwahahaha! but it made sense to me!!! =)

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  15. I will someday learn to either spell better or read my comments before posting them. I would hate to look REALLY stupid.
    Thanks Sandee, I like topical humor. Tiger really stepped in it this time.

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  16. OMG, I'm practically rolling on the floor here... I'm at work, so that might make people wonder.

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  17. LOL not the ending I was expecting but very funny.

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  18. I am tempted to meet l'le Johnny!

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  19. Johnny is a smart kid and Tiger is an idiot.

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  20. Bwahahahahahaahahaha! I'm passing that one to my son in law. He's a teacher...LOL!

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  21. Oh geez, I need to send this to my Dad, he will love it!

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  22. Wasn't anticipating that myself. I did have an internal chuckle though, as annoying as anything Tiger Woods + mistress have been!

    Cheers =)

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  23. Amen to that - I'll be thrilled when the news media finds someone else to latch on to.

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  24. Little Johnny is really smart kid.. Nice to hear this one.

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