Saturday, December 12, 2009

Kids on the Bible #2

* David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

* Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

* When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

* When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

* Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

* Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

* The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

* One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

* St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

* Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
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  1. I learned a lot here today before work Sandee. I will be letting everyone know all this throuout the day!

    ... esp all the porcupines :-)

  2. "One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan."

    This one really cracked me up!

  3. Sande, why does the childrens edition make more sense?

  4. This one was extra funny. Love the 700 porcupines. Great information. I learned a lot.

  5. haha the last one is the best!

  6. Kids do have a creative 'take' on things! Thanks for sharing ;-)
    Hugs and blessings,

  7. Love that last one !

  8. Monotony! bwahahaha! But I choked on my thin mint when I read "immaculate contraption"! Good thing I wasn't drinking my coffee!

    Love these, Sandee! Hope your day isn't yucky, rainy and cold like mine! Big Hugs ♥xo

  9. Love this! My Buggys girl is 5 years old and I gather a great deal of unusual bits of wisdom from her. I am fond of "Hail Mary, full of grace, brings us carrots, with liberty and justice for all"

  10. LOVE these! thanks for the laughs!!!

    smiles, bee

  11. Your jokes are never "monotonous"! I adore your subtle satire! Have a great week end!

  12. St. Matthew a taximan? Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking about!

  13. Brillant! From the mouths of babes.

  14. Out of the mouth of babes...

  15. haha the last one is the best!

  16. There are those who would think that last one was right on the money!

    Hope you have a good time on the boat this weekend!

  17. Marriage = Acrimony = Monotony... geeeez i needed to be reminded of that... lol! must be a senior moment =)


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