* In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
* Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
* Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
* The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
* Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
* Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
* The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
* The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
* Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
* The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.