Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Retirement Bonus

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.


The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man ... "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?" The general replied, "In Vietnam."

28 comments:

  1. Haa haa... now thats one long balls general :P

    Hope you are doing good mate...

    take care... cheers...

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  2. Wow!
    Can't laugh. Sad for me.
    Sorry.

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  3. oh good one sandee!!!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  4. Very good job, please keep it coming!

    Hubby Hank

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  5. You are so funny! I hope they gave him the money. LOL!

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  6. And I bet they're still measuring even now!

    Have a great Tuesday, Sandee!

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  7. hahahahah.... cant stop laughing!

    that's really funny!

    btw, would you like to exchange links?

    please drop me a line. :)

    cheers!

    vienna

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  8. Then he deserved every penny! Bless his heart. Big hugs...

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  9. wow. they had to pay him almost as much as the deficit....

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  10. he will retire a millionaire I'm sure :) thanks for the laugh sandee!

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  11. Sandee,
    now that was one hell of a check there and to think took no balls to get it.

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  12. Ha ha! Didn't even see that coming!

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  13. I can vouch for that. I saw them hanging from a tree in Lam Son!

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  14. I thought the answer was going to be intestine, not intesticles. Gotta love a Marine! hahaha!

    Big Hugs ♥xo

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  15. the general is very smart and a real hero..... very nice

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  16. Well, at least he'll be well compensated for his loss!

    (What about the navy admirals?)

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  17. Ha Ha Ha Ha, LMAO, That was a good one, never heard that one before. leave it to a Marine :-) Bug Hugs to you Sandee

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  18. Great joke! A subtle dig at the damages sustained by the warriors during the Vietnam war too!

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  19. All the money the government spends on wrenches and toilet seats, I can almost believe this. You got me with this one. Hilarious!

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  20. HAHAHAHAHAHA...i can't stop laughing here...

    TY Sandee. Wish you can cast a vote to my friend's daughter named Akesha.

    have a great day.

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  21. I laughed for sure but I did feel like I should've been a little bit "aww-ish". lol ah well :P

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  22. Semper Fi! Those Marines are smart ones!

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  23. haha thats a good one

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  24. It should not be applied in the Philippines for Generals and shoulder average only 5'4"

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