Thursday, November 5, 2009

Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a very old Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old given her father's age, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty pathetic," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the large rock, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
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33 comments:

  1. Kind of like being caught between a rock and a hard place isn't it?

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  2. I'll start believing in fate from now on.
    lol

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  3. Sandee, lmao, great balls a fire

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  4. Whoa! That must be painful! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!

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  5. guess he should've kept it in his own pants...lol

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  6. It's not like he wasn't warned...

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  7. Ouch! They are cleverer than they look the ancient chinese :lol:

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  8. That was a punishment, 3 in 1. 2 balls in a rock.

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  9. Ouch!

    LMAO

    That may not be an appropriate comment. snerx.

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  10. Ha ha ha don't mess with a old chinese guy!

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  11. Oh shoot. I don't have them and this even made me cringe!

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  12. OMG thta was soooo funny THANKS for the laugh

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  13. oh no! watch out for those chinese!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

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  14. Those Chinese are smart folks! Ouch...oh, I don't have those attachments.

    Big hugs, honey...

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  15. OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was a good one, LOL. still laughing. How is my favorite silly gurl doing today? Big hugs from your friends over at MOB, still celebrating the World Series :-)

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  16. Poor fellow. I was thinking maybe the third was to HAVE to marry her. :-)
    ..

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  17. Those crafty ancient Chinese people! Remind me never to tick off any old Chinese guys!

    Thanks for posting this. It definitely made me laugh!

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  18. Ow! I don't have any but even I could feel that.

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  19. OMG, that is a really painful torture...but oh so creative too! Ha ha ha...

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  20. Anchient Chinese Secret? hahahaha!

    Big Hugs ♥xo

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  21. Ouch! I felt that one from here, and I never touched that girl! Dammit!!

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  22. Ouch! Ouch! That is really a torture..haha

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  23. Oooohh, seriously that had to hurt!

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  24. He could have still saved one testicle had he...!

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  25. More testicle humor? When will it end? I must cringe when I read them. They are funny though.

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  26. Men...they just don't listen. Good one Sandee!
    Hugs <3

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  27. it hurts just to read ........

    heheee

    Hi Sandee, I am going to remember this one :-)

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  28. I'm thinking he should have read all the notes first! Ah, what price passion, eh?

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