Sunday, October 18, 2009

Zingers...

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat.... she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,they're dead."

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Hat tip: My sister ♥Debbie♥
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19 comments:

  1. smart flight attendant!!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxooxoxoxox

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  2. No stubs allowed!

    Big hugs, Sandee...

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  3. My dirty mind focused on the stub one. Hubby got a kick outta that one!

    Loved the turkey one as well.
    Bwahahahahaahahahahah!

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  4. I love this sort of thing..LOL

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  5. We laughed at all of them, but we loved the speeding kids reply. Thanks for the laughs, and have a wonderful Sunday.

    Hugs,
    Pam

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  6. I'll remember the first one as I am flying to Athens in two days :-)

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  7. Sandee, gotta love them zingers.lol
    BIG HUGS

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  8. Hysterical! As are most of the posts I've read here - I will visit often, and I hope you don't mind if I share (er - steal) the turkey Zinger this Thanksgiving!

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  9. Those are great. Love the one about the turkeys. That sounds so real. Couldn't help but laugh!!

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  10. So good to have you back. Turkey jokes and all :-)

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  11. They don't get any bigger ... heee!!!

    Sandee ... where DO you find all of these? That is amazing and WOW I am amazed at your fab weight loss results!!!! Whoa!

    You go girl!

    I love you!

    Wendy

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  12. These are the best I have read in ages...this one is still cracking me up-, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." HAHAHAHAHA

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  13. There are no better laughs than those found in this site. Great share of laughing gas. Jokes are really funny. Whoa..LOL!

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  14. I love it. Especially enjoyed the Young man in his car with the policeman. Makes me think that a good answer can make you the winner in any situation.

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  15. Funny stuff. The stock boy should have had the lady come back in a week when the Turkeys were bigger.

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  16. Love the bridge delivery! This was cute!

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  17. Nice once Sandee, we all enjoyed reading them


    http://www.menshealthaid.com

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥