Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Explaination...

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman, and she was very upset.

'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!'

The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

The husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in minutes.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair just like them.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued, 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Do you have anything else that you wife doesn't use?'

Hat tip: Nick M.
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31 comments:

  1. That was gooooood. Women of the world WISE up...If you've got a great husband, let him know it

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  2. Ohhhh for lands sake ...........


    hehehehee

    Hi Sandee !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( gives bear hug )

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  3. Oh yes, he's definitely got a point :-)

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  4. Good one, and I'm a woman!

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  5. Poor wife, too late for her to realize she miss the that important thing....

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  6. Moral of the story...to the wife use it or loose it.

    to the girl...don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

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  7. Hahahahaha!!! I hear it all of the time from the husbands and the wives. Another great reason to be single. Pick and choose. Pick and choose!

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  8. Oh, well, when you put it THAT way... bwahahaha!

    Big Hugs, Sandee ♥xo

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  9. hahaha! I remember I have read a similar one earlier!

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  10. Ha ha ha. The husband won the case.

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  11. Hmmmm.... What about the husband big belly because of beer, picking nose habit and many other problems?

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  12. Isn't there a saying that goes something like, "Use it, or lose it"? Just sayin'

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  13. Wow. That was a sobering joke. :)

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  14. Very funny!

    He's was just trying to be helpful.

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  15. That is one very generous man. An inspiration.

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  16. hahaha i wish it wont happen to me...poor wife..

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  17. oh boy he got her good!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxooxxo

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  18. He would be so dead!

    Big hugs from Mayberry...

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  19. HA HA he really got her.

    Nice to see you're back at EC. After your yachting trip, time to get back down to business, oh YEAH (doing a little dance). Hate to tell you folks but you get to see my round MOB dot all day in a few days YIPPEE!!!!!

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  20. Outstanding! I often find myself in situations where I have lots of ex-plaining to do, so I hope to be able to incorporate some of these tips into my next explanation! ;)

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  21. Very prepared explanation the husband had there! Great post! Light but superbly intriguing. Nice one!

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  22. Well, thank you:
    You made my Day;)

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  23. Anonymous10/16/2009

    I am not sure I understood.
    Atleast it was not witty.
    I have been poor and profited from leftovers.
    Most poor people do not beg.
    Last time I met a begger, he said nothing, just sat there next to his dog.

    A begger can make me feel terribly rich.

    Two beggers is not only a nuisance. When two they are easily dangerous.

    Ever thought of that.


    Jeff

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  24. Ouch. I actually saw that photo with the food as ehrm... someones chopped bodyparts at first.... I guess that tell something about my imagination... *giggles*

    There is obviously a lot to read into this story!

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  25. YAYYYYYYYY! I'm gonna keep this in mind SANDEE. LOL!

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