Tuesday, September 29, 2009

New Jersey

A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the construction barrels.

Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle so never use them.

Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you're going. If you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.

Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your antilock braking system kicks in to give you a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.

Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the exit but before the traffic begins to back up.

The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information; they're just to make the Turnpike look progressive.
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21 comments:

  1. The same list could also be useful in New York City! :-)

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  2. Very useful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Sandee
    Thems the laws up there, hell, peeple here just drive thet way, and ain't even the law here, just the norm

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  4. Sounds like the rules for driving in PA too!

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  5. Tennessee as well. They also play this game called flip the car...

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  6. Hi Sandi,
    I was looking here for an award you gave me, I was going to post it today because I haven't posted for a while. Work...

    But I can't find it.

    You probably took it down because I'm soooooooo bad! Sorry.

    Ah well my dear. I try....I try! Hope all is well darling!!!

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  7. Dang...Colorado is well represented in this list, too ;) Must be all the Califorlornians, Texicans, Floridians, et al that have moved here LOL...

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  8. NJ drivers have always been a source of mockery (and frustration and anger) to NY'ers. Comment to bad driver: "Where'd you get your license - New Jersey?"

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  9. Oh my we were on the same wave some what today. These very funny and also apply to Massachusetts and Chicago...I know I've seen it!!

    I stopped here first to get my laugh for the day!!...love it Sandee!!
    Big hugs,
    Jackie

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  10. Sandee, it sounds like you should have posted this as rules for all roads. I refuse to let someone in front of me after I see them in my rear view mirror drive several miles on the shoulder to get in front of everyone else. I refuse!

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  11. Boy, that's nice to know. If I ever plan on going to Jersey I can skip the cab rides and do it myself.

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  12. This sounds like Atlanta traffic!

    Be safe out there. Big hugs, honey...

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  13. Glad I don't drive in Jersey, but then again, it kinda sounds like Boston too!!!

    Have a great day!!
    :) Kat

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  14. Yep, that about sums it up, along with the rule, "If you saw the light when it was green, you may go through it when you get there."

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  15. Great post, very informative. I think a lot of people will find this very useful.Keep post in coming future as well!!!

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  16. Now that I live in a little bitty town, all traffic seems like that to me. LOL!

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  17. I see you have been to NJ

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  18. Gr8!! idea and a great blog. I appreciate your work & hope for some more informative information.

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  19. Understood, I go to CA.

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