Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Mistress

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

“Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier,” she replies.

Stolen from: Glenn of Man Over Board
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36 comments:

  1. oh yeah, bess would slap the sh..... outta me, course never take her no where no way.

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  2. I have promised my guy he would be a high tenor if ever he strayed...hehe

    Big hugs for a great day...

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  3. I believe I'll just stay loyal as a Labrador retriever. It's much safer that way.

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  4. I think since she was accustomed to those "fringe benefits" of marriage, a judge would ensure it continued, after the divorce. Ha ha

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  5. Seen it before, but it is still funny.

    Bwahhahahahaha!

    Sometimes sexist jokes can be funny. Just like blonde jokes. Oops. Sorry about that. snerx.

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  6. LMAO...a material girl ;)

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  7. Sometimes you just have to pick your battles!

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  8. That.Was.Funny!!!

    Hi Sandee! Just stopping in to say hello and for a good giggle. Have a great day honey!
    Hugs,
    Kimmie

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  9. Oh, I SO wasn't expecting that! bwahahahaha!

    Happy Tuesday, but it still feels like Monday :-D

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  10. That one is funny. Nothing like keeping up with the Joneses!!!!!

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  11. LOL... that was funny! Thanks for the laugh Sandee!

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  12. Ha ha ha there are so many girls like this at these days.

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  13. just like a silly woman. I dont think I could share even for all that??

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  14. LOL....It's amazing what can tempt us huh? i will just keep my old pick-up truck and my man to myself!!

    Thanks for everything Sandee and I hope you have a terrific day!!
    Jackie

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  15. Ha! Funny how money works...

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  16. BTW - Happy Birthday!

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  17. yep, ours is prettier, i agree! ha ha ha

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

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  18. ahhhhh some of these are so bad. lol

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  19. This one was cute - in a twisted sort of way!

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  20. haha... honey wants money..lolzzz

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  21. Wow...she certainly showed where her love was...$$$$$$$$$$$$.
    Some people definitely do deserve each other :)

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  22. I LOL'd, then shared it with several people at work, and we all LOL'd again!
    Thanks, Sandee!
    : D

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  23. Another round goes to $$$$$$$$$$!

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  24. yeah right hahaha....

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  25. Laughing...That's great! And by the way, Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dear dear friend Sandee, happy birthday to you....:)) And a thousand more...

    Big big, birthday hug, and love,

    Annie

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  26. Living off alimony isn't such a bad thing.

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  27. YOUR BIRTHDAY???????????? Well Happy 29th to you Sandee. May you get EVERYTHING you ask for :-). You are such a dear and thank you for checking up on my little blog to keep me updated. I am glad everyone enjoyed the joke. I will have more for you to "steal" soon, LOL God Bless

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  28. This is why it's important to be able to stand on your own two feet..so you don't get screwed when you give the guy a swiftkick to the face.

    Still funny of course... gotta admit it was quite the trade-off =)

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  29. OURS ???

    Ha haaaaa !!!!!!!! ... must have been written by a male ;-)
    Hope a good divorce layer does not show up there

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  30. Oh, I love that reply. Great! :-)

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  31. Keeping up with the Joneses... never a good thing.

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  32. In my opinion the wife is shrewder though not prettier!

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  33. OMGosh ... I did not see the Birthday comments. Did you have a great day? Spankinz? Cake??

    Happy belated and a bunch a hugs !!!!!!!!!!

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥