Monday, September 28, 2009

The Blonde Hooker

She was tall, thin and beautiful. She was also a hooker that knew her good looks wouldn't last forever. She needed to find a new line of work, but she was also blonde and had that long list of perfectly good excuses not to, besides she had a 3-year lease at a really crummy apartment. She really loved that apartment because it was so convenient to the train station, especially important for the commute her new job at Walmart. But could she stock shelves in a short skirt and high heels.

Maybe she should go to work at the nearest law firm and try to get into the secretarial field. Hey if Erin Brockovich...with her provocative and leggy look could do it but then she thought, maybe not and thought instead Lowe's. She at least could charge for people looking up her skirt to help pay off her lease at her crummy apartment, which she really loved anyway. She almost loved it as much as she loved her little dog.

She's still thinking about her ideal job. She loves to party and travel. She has even thought about taking up golf because one of her friends plays. He is a politician.

Maybe, she should bake a cake, but not just any cake. This cake was going to be made with three ounces of the aphrodisiac that she was saving for a special occasion. The cake came out perfect, but who to serve it to? "That's it," she thought. I'll take it over to the sanitation department where most of my clients work. I know that they'll help me with my tuition at the School of Massage and Poly-Sci. She figured if Monica L. could wear a stained blue dress that she could easily find replicated at the local Good Will. She could wear the T shirt and sweatpants that she's been baking in, that were stained with the cake batter that she had colored the exact blue of her eyes.

She took that blue cake and walked on over to the massage school, just in time to begin the massage session. After a short while she distributed the cake to her friends and clients. However they stared at her stained clothes curiously. "Its cake batter!" she points out. they all mumble. "Hows the cake?" she says trying to break the awkwardness. No one answers.

She sits there staring out the window thinking that it the effect of the cake should start to begin in half a hour. While the minutes slowly pass by, she tries to count up all the money she will make once the aphrodisiac kicks in but eventually gives up when she runs out of fingers to count. Not long afterward she decides to check her email and finally accept ALL those offers to split millions of dollars with HER from ALL those nice men that need her help getting their money out of Africa (hmmm....she thinks AF...RIK...A?..must be in Rhode Island), oh well, she finds a computer and sends off a message to her former co-workers at Wal-Mart, telling them what asses they are for thinking that the evil yellow Wal*Mart Smiley had taken demonic possession of at least 90% of their trailer park patronage, so the story ends here. She eventually loses what little savings she has from all those guys in Rhode Island and is back working the streets to make ends meet (pun intended).

Contributing Authors (in order of appearance):

Barb of WillThink4Wine
Sandy B of Traveling Bells
Hillbilly Willy of Hillbilly Willy -Fun, Food & Politics
Dorothy L of Womensselfesteem.com's Blog
Unfinished Rambler of Unfinished Rambler

Pam of Finding Pam
Empress Bee (of the High Sea) of Muffin53
DK of Knucklehead!
Don of Beyond Left Field
Ettarose of Sanity on Edge

Surveygirl46 of Everything but the Furr...
Lidian of Kitchen Retro
Lois Grebowski of Lowdown from Lois
Rajagopalan of Just Out
Em-ILY of It Went all Cinerious

Ana of Hella Heaven
Staci of Just Bloggled
CatLadyLarew of How to Become A Cat Lady...Without the Cats

A great big THANK YOU to everyone that contributed to The Blonde Hooker. You are all awesome!
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9 comments:

  1. Dang...just when I thought I knew how the story would end, too... ;)

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  2. make ends meet! ha ha ha ha ha

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

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  3. More of a drama then a comedy. I cried.

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  4. Whew, I just got into it and expected the story to just keep going!! But it had to end....

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  5. Sandee,
    Hey i think I met her in R.I., gave her a ride from walmart.
    Now you say she's on the streets, damn, she still has my comb.

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  6. I might have to come back to see if she does get to make those ends meet. :-)
    It turned out good. Next time I'll try again.
    ..

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  7. Sometime ends do meet on the street and in other places best left unnamed. Sorry got in on the tail end (should have used another phrase) of the story.

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  8. We done good on that one Sandee. - but did the cake ever kick in?

    10-4 Willy

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  9. I love your story games...MORE MORE PLLLLLEEEEASE

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