Sunday, August 9, 2009

Senior Moment

A Preacher was explaining why he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There was a hush within the congregation because no one wanted him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!"

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!"

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, "Screw him!!"

Hat tip: My ♥husband♥
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27 comments:

  1. It's always good to take people literally :-)

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  2. Remind me NOT to read these while I'm crunchin' ice! Just 'bout crunched the crap out of my tongue!
    ~~~Blessings~~~

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  3. Now Mr. JOnes has got a lot of explaining to do.. lol!

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  4. There's a Mr. Jones in every congregation. There's probably a Mrs. Jones in every congregation as well.

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  5. Nowhere to hide, Mr. Jones!

    Big Sunday hugs...

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  6. you know i can actually SEE my mother doing this! i swear she'd do it!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  7. OMG, that is just tooo funny!

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  8. Whoops! Did he say that out loud? hahaha!

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  9. Too funny for words. LMAO

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  10. OMG!! Too funny. I agree with Diller... you can find a Mr. and Mrs. Jones is just about every congregation.

    Hope your weekend on water has been just fabulous!!

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  11. Hahahaha...if i can't visit you just for 1 day, i will miss you Sandee because of your funny post here.

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  12. It’s a lot of fun when that show gets some “home cooking” going on. Last year’s winner David Cook was from Blue Springs, Mo. near my hometown.

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  13. Funny! But you men are big crybabies..is it too much to ask for a tampon or two when we have to watch ALL the football season.

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  14. it is very different blog.thank u for sharing.i hope all are reading this blog.i told my friends also.

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  15. Ha ha!! Busted!!! LOL

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  16. That was too funny! There's one in every church. Bwahaaaa!

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  17. hahahahahahaha, hilarious, just hilarious.... hahahahaha, I needed that....
    much love, hugs and :))))

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  18. Oh that was so funny. You have never posted one that wasn't. I hope your week end was WONDERFUL!

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  19. Hi Sandee!
    I'm not visiting your blog because I'm a little busy.
    I'm glad I came today!

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  20. There's one in every congregation!
    Too too funny Sandee!!!

    Hope you had a great weekend!

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  21. I think not only one in every congregation, in every organization there are always 10% of Mr. and Mrs. Jones

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  22. LMAO...

    good one :)

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  23. How's that for being literal? This is hilarious, thanks for the laughs! =) I wonder how Mr. Jones is taking that one!

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Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. All comments are very much appreciated.

♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥