Saturday, August 1, 2009

Little Boys...

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.

For those who have grown children, this is hysterical!
For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
  • A king-size water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
  • If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  • A 3-year-boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  • If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan,the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
  • You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
  • When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  • The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  • When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
  • Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  • A six-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says they can do it only in the movies.
  • Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old boy.
  • Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
  • Super glue is forever.
  • No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
  • VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  • Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  • Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  • You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
  • Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like hot ovens.
  • The fire department in Austin , TX , has a 5-minute response time.
  • The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy
80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. 80% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid.

Hat tip: Wilben of Sayings, Quotes and Adages
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  1. Sandee, I think that was written by hubby Hank's mom! I swear it was!

    My favorite was the jello one...

  2. No, it was written by the mother of my son-in-law, cuz Doodlebug is already showing some of these traits! haha

    I'm sure the balls in the ceiling fan will happen any day now. Poor dtr Amy!!!

    Big hugs...have a great weekend!

  3. Lol, AMEN to that! I don't find any of this difficult to believe...sad but true.

  4. Unfortunately, some of these I have had personal experience being the mother of two boys. I like the one about the flint.

    Have a great weekend.

  5. Thank goodness I am in the 20%.


  6. Ha Ha!! I can relate to some of these, and the others are only a dream away, I'm sure!!!

    Thanks for the laugh...or warning...
    Whatever!! LOL

    Kat :)

  7. Hehehe. That sounds like some kids I used to know, but why is all of that fun just for kids? Howz about letting your ex's parrot out of it's cage when the ceiling fan above it is going full speed...? I know. I was about 35. They have many more feathers than you think, and when bloodied they stick to everything!
    Clorox and brake fluid eh? Clorox and Spic and Span don't work well together either.

  8. Having raised 3 boys on my own... I can add: if you swing through trees playing Tarzan, plan on spending several hours in the emergency room and your son will spend several more weeks with casts on both arms. And I have more too...

    Hope you are enjoying your weekend, Sandee :o)

  9. i just know those guys are off trying that clorox thingy!!! ha ha ha

    smiles, bee

  10. And the "smoke" doesn't smell very good, either.

  11. Thanks Sandi! Some of these things I have also learned from my daughter! Such as if you kick a soccer ball in the house it is likely to hit your father in the face!

    Thanks for being one of last week's top droppers!

  12. thanks for reminding me why we're childless ;-)

    Comfort Spiral

  13. Too funny! The sad part is that I had 4 brothers and this list is merely a hint of their capabilities!

  14. I think almost every mom gets similar experience. Yours may be a bit too much! I have understood how children pranks could be seen as delightful observations!

  15. Oh hahahahahaha, girls have done their share of such things too, just saying... funny stuff...
    Hope you had a great weekend, much love, hugs and :))))) hahahahahaha, sooooooo cute, and even more true...:))))

  16. I have two more for you -

    Oatmeal, maple syrup and brown sugar will not make a moon but will make a huge mess in the kitchen! When thrown up into the sky, it will fall down - yuk!

    The meat that is in the freezer that you have thawed it all out - can not be glued together to recreate a cow.

    Yes, I brought my children up on a ranch and they we very creative.

    God help me! I said that allot when they we young. LOL!

  17. Is that two parts Clorox to one part brake fluid or one part Clorox to two parts brake fluid. I want to make sure I get this correct.

  18. Ha!!!! My hubby said he was gonna try Clorox and Brake fluid before we even read the end!!!

  19. I hope nobody sends this to my husband.

  20. I don't have any Children yet so for me this is this is birth control. lol

  21. I seem to STILL learn things like this even now, living by myself (( wink ))


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