Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Men - Part II

"You know how bad my memory is." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Oh, don't fuss - I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I can't find it." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I heard you." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific." Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
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  1. Mr X was positively brilliant at "I can't find it."

    Have a great day, Sandee!

  2. Anonymous7/01/2009

    Well said! Interesting sentences.

  3. I can't find it! *lol*

  4. I love the "I can't find it" one... that fits most men to a T.

    I also wanted to tell you again, that I love your blog, and an award is waiting...

    Congrats! You deserve it!
    Have a great day!
    Kat :)

  5. "See! I DID remember our wedding anniversary!" Translated: I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked them up on the way home.

  6. giggle... those are funny...

  7. this NAILED them! ha ha ha

    smiles, bee

  8. SO TRUE... every one of them!!

  9. "It is your fault."
    Even though it might not be your fault, it makes me feel better that I can blame this on you.

  10. "I can't find it" is a classic, from both my hubby AND my kids.

  11. Ha ha the first one is my favorite but all of them are true! Men men men!!

  12. "What did I do this time?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

    Jeff Foxworthy has a great routine about this. He admits that he is in trouble and doesn't know why. He then tells his wife that he will be spending the next couple of hours in his room to thnk about it and make amends.

    It is really funny to hear him tell it.

  13. "You look terrific." Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."


  14. Yup, we're not lost at all ;o)
    Have a wonderful holiday weekend, Sandee!

  15. Have a blast for the 4th!!!!!

  16. My son is starting young with the "I can't find it." ME: ... where's the ball, honey?
    He's looking on the CEILING. "Ummmm! Ummmmmmm!"


    It IS hereditary!!!

  17. 1-9 guilty! Being the proud chauvinist that I am, I must say in all fairness that turnabout is fair play. Even if it's all bogus.

  18. It's a guy thing for sure! Dick is g.u.i.l.t.y. big time on most of those.

    Have a great long weekend, honey. Big hugs...

  19. More good ones, Sandee. And so true!

  20. you are a comic psychiatrist!
    Congrats on your recognition too.

    Comfort Spiral

  21. So true my favorite is The picture oops I mean the one - I was just thinking about you - sure you were! LOL!

    Love and Blessings,

  22. it's as if you're watching us. love them!

  23. he hee... again... some are true :P

  24. Was it a man or a woman who invented GPS??

    Have a great 4th weekend on the boat!

  25. I'm playing a bit of catch up today and LOVED all your 'Dictionary' for Men (and Women) posts ... hilarious!
    Hugs and blessings,

  26. Just love this, and ain't it the truth, poor things... hahahaha, they are kinda clever aren't they???
    Hope you have a great Holiday, much love, hugs and :))))

  27. Those jokes really captured the stereotypical man. Hehe! Really funny.

    Oh, men and their continuous denial that they too can be dumb and make mistakes sometimes... :D


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