A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the coffee table.
Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She followed by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money."
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she said, "And remember the big beautiful house that sits at the top of the hill that I fell in love with and you said we couldn't afford?" Once more she answered saying, "Well I bought that too with the insurance money and I love living here."
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes . . . "
Stolen from: Hale McKay of It Occurred To Me