Thursday, May 28, 2009

Three Virgins

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Maxwell House".

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good til the last drop."

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size".

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words: "British Airways". Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for British Airways.

The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways....

Mom fainted.

Stolen from: Hale McKay of It Occurred To Me
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30 comments:

  1. Ah, that's Brits for you :-)

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  2. A postcard? My mother would have been calling me! Those clues would have made her crazy! hahaha!

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  3. I so love British Airways...

    :P

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  4. Mom's just jealous!

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  5. As a father, even I would have fainted.

    By the way, Nescafe didn't and never would have those words. Wonder how that got in there?

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  6. Why, why, why? That would be more than I would want to know,but I would be happy for them. LOL

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  7. AH newly weds, to be there again!

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  8. i must be really (really) old, i am feeling sorry for that last girl! ha ha ha

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

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  9. I would faint, too ;o)

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  10. Lmao, British Airways rocks!!

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  11. So that's what she meant when she asked if I wanted to fly with her? Dammit!!! I thought she was talking about ValuJet!

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  12. OMG! that has me tittering!!!!

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  13. Hahaha, again, quite funny.

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  14. BWahahahahaha!!!

    Hale can sure come up with some funny ones.

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  15. Ha, ha! Hee-hee! Love it!

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  16. I'll stop laughing soon. And blushing.

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  17. That was very funny. Not sure I would be ready to have my girls share that kind of information with me, but maybe I will be when they are older.

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  18. Lol, that is a great way to talk about sex!

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  19. hahaha

    I can always count on you for a laugh.

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  20. Ya know, as a mother to a couple of daughters, I really don't think I'd want to know how it was going on their honeymoons! Thanks for the laughs but I gotta wonder how much truth in advertising was going on here!

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  21. Haha, I liked that one.

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  22. Oh Sandee. Bad, bad! But if it is really bad, bad, then why am I laughing? There go my angel wings, flying, up, up and away, huh?

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  24. Hahahahahaha, that was clever... would have never guessed the end... lots of Mothers and Daughters share such facts, and while it is a bit unsettling, it is also a bond which only such two can have, though it must stay in a certain comfort zone for sure... hahahaha...
    much love, hugs and :)))))

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  25. One of the funniest I've seen in a while.

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  26. Anonymous7/19/2009

    that was way very funny. I thought I have read this one but it turned out to be different. It was one way of brightening my day.

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