Thursday, May 7, 2009

New Pfizer Drugs

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society...

DIRECTRA -- a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA -- Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA -- Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks -- especially cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA -- In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA -- Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be ascertained: Whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA -- Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA -- This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA -- This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA -- This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA -- About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."

LIAGRA -- This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

Stolen from Hale McKay of It Occurred To Me
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26 comments:

  1. Well, what can I say? :-)

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  2. No doubt there's a few more they could be working on :O)

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  3. Wow!
    Not too far from reality!

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  4. Wonder when they'll have one for the toilet seat lid? :-D

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  5. Do I need to get my husband to the doctor to get a prescription?

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  6. Someone is very creative!

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  7. Hubs and I go round and round about the toilet seat. My solution was to keep the lid down at all times. No problem now.

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  8. I don't like doing prescription drugs, but there's a couple h'yar I might have to get on ;)

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  9. leave it to pfizer!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  10. Can I get a 90 day supply of FLATULAGRA? Hubby needs that one, bad.

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  11. *laughing*
    When Viagra first came out, our local Pfizer rep called it the Pfizer riser!

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  12. Hahaha! I could sure find a use for few of these pills. Maybe I could even volunteer my hubby for testing ;o)

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  13. Can you buy each by the case? Guilty on all counts, but too stubborn to change or care...

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  14. There are quite a few on that list that I should get for DH! Great post. Who has time to come up with these??? Big hugs, honey...

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  15. Can they make a Doectra or Startagra please? One that'll make the guy actually DO or Start a home project.

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  16. My own independent investigation indicates that Pryagra is actually a derivative of a female hormone and that 82% of women already posses an abundance of it.

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  17. FLATULAGRA would be on my wife's shopping list.

    BTW, since you put on the no ads icon, your widget doesn't show up for me.

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  18. Hmmmm... I know someone who could use the LIAGRA ;)
    Have a great weekend Sandee!

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  19. There are plenty of drugs available for making men better cyclists.

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  20. Oh hahahahaha, some great minds come up with some good ones, eh???? I can't wait to read the ones for women... hahahaha... funny stuff...
    Have a great time out there on the waves, take care, much love, hugs and :))) always...

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  21. hahaha these are great. I read them all to the hubby.

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  22. I'll take a large enough supply of
    NEGA-SPORTAGRA for football season!
    Hoping you're having a terrific weekend!!!
    ~~~Blessings~~~

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  23. To complicated to chose so I stick too: an apple a day!

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  24. I love these and want to buy most of them.

    There should be one that improves performance ... doesn't just improve erections.

    Sexeduagra?

    Valentino-agra?

    Hmmmmmmmmm ...

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