Friday, May 22, 2009

Kid Speak - Part 2


While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"


A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."

"And why not, darling?"

"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."


While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always sang: "Glory be to the Faaather, and to the Sonnn, and into the hole he goes."


A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"


A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?"

With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

Hat tip: Jackie (Shinade) of The Painted Veil
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  1. Enjoyed these chuckles very much! My favorite is the one about not wearing the Tux.

  2. Art Linkletter was absolutely right when he told us that "kids say the darnedest things" because they sure do!

    Have a great Friday, Sandee!

  3. "...and into the hole he goes." Priceless, just priceless. Have a great Memorial Day week-end.

  4. Tee hee hee! Just too cute. Thanks for giving me a laugh today. Have a fantastic weekend.

  5. Love those kiddie chuckles, especially when I have two kiddies here today. I'm getting my own chuckles, in addition to muddy diapers. Enjoy your weekend, honey!

  6. They were great! I especially liked the tooth fairy :D

  7. another knee slapper sandee. have a great weekend my friend, i know you will!

    smiles, bee

  8. Thanks for being such a day brightener! I will definitely share the "Death" & the "Bible" funnies with our pastor!

  9. Have a fun weekend on the boat! :-D)

  10. Yesterday and todays kids speak posts are Outstanding, Sandee! ANd I really needed a good laugh right about now!

    Come on, five o'clock!

  11. A great collection, both 1 and 2 - thanks for sharing!

    Happy Weekend :-)

  12. haha I especially liked that last one there.

  13. h eheee... that was a good morning laugh :)

    take care mate.. cheers...

  14. i always love these! my little daughter once told a man who had an amputated leg how lucky he is that he only has to tie one shoe. he smiled, thank goodness!

    hope you have a great weekend!

  15. So enjoyable! I love these things. You find some good ones -- always!

  16. Wohoo... Adam's underwear. Now, that is a good one.

    Kids can be so funny and innocent at the same time.

  17. OMG, you know I can so totally relate to this post. Any of my children (well the ones that can talk) would be likely to say most of this. heh heh heh

    Thanks for the laughs.

  18. Thanks to you and this post, my face is now sporting a much needed, big old smile!

  19. Oh hahahahahahahahaha, these are pricelessly precious, and I can so relate to them from years gone by.... Hahahaha, loved them all but, the tuxedo one, the ministers son, and the Bible ones are the absolute best ever.... great!!!!
    Much love, hugs and :))))

  20. I love these, there's just something so honest about the innocence of children.

  21. I loved the painting!

    I have no children. I think I going to have these by heart.
    Just in case...:)

  22. Aww... kids do say the darndest things! Cute jokes. I liked them all, especially Dress-Up! :D


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