Friday, May 1, 2009

It's Hell to be Old!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, *Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'*

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.

'The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

Hat tip: My sister ♥Debbie♥
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37 comments:

  1. ROTFL... good one mate..

    have a nice weekend... cheers...

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  2. A great twist at the end - even if they couldn't twist it :-)

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  3. hey that's us! ha ha ha

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

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  4. I can get the jar open. I don't know about filling it though.

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  5. Twist and shout! Good one. Have a great weekend. Big hugs...

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  6. LOL too funny and true.
    Have a great weekend.

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  7. I got a nice Friday chuckle out of it. Thanks, Sandee :o)

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  8. Dadgum that Mason feller and his lids ;)

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  9. I was so not expecting that. Shame on my dirty mind!

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  10. Hahahhaa.. very funny! Thanks for the laughter :D

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  11. I saw that ending coming, but still excellent.

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  12. Lol!
    We are really perverted people.

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  13. lolZ! hahahah i love these twisting jokes :P

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  14. yep,some days are like that

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  15. Semen makes great lube. Next time the old geezer can get the semen first and then open the jar.

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  16. hahahahahahaha

    Have a Super Weekend....

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  17. couple parks at the outlook overlooking the city lights. Wife says: Scoot on over here, like you used to. He does. Hold my hand. He does. Give me a little kiss. He does. Now nibble on my ear like you used to. He starts the car and drives off. You don't want to nibble on my ear? Of course I do ... but I have to go home and get my teeth!

    Just sayin'.

    hee hee.

    Loved the one about the Citibank. Passed the senior test till I forgot my name.
    And DANG girl! You have 186 awards!!! Not that I counted.
    And I can't even believe those comments from 1955. I'd love 25 cent gas.

    Thanks for the hugs. I'm considering my options. The stress of constant financial jeopardy is wearing on me.

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  18. Very funny.

    I didn't see the punch line coming.

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  19. Great One - Loved It - Laughed Outloud!!!!

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  20. Oh hahahahahahaha, shoulda seen that coming... funny stuff.... hahahahahaha.... excellent... enjoy your weekend, much love, hugs and :))))

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  21. you know, i can never re-tell these great jokes of yours!

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  22. What else would they have been talking about, right?

    peace,
    mike
    livelife365

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  23. Really cute and funny. I love your site!

    I have something for you at my site so come by and see ......

    Love and Blessings,
    AngelBaby

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  24. lol saw that one coming! :)

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  25. wow....no pun intended. =/ Hit send and thought back on what I just wrote. haha

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  26. Its always great with a helping hand from friends and families ;-)

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  27. this would be even funnier if I could open jars!

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  28. Somethings are so tight you just can't get into them---never been that lucky!

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  29. That's why you run it under hot water first! Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Paul

    Eat Well. Live Well.
    PurpleGreenPops.com

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  30. Oh gosh ... I was struggling for an idea of the ending, but as usual ... you took me totally by surprise ;--)
    Hugs and blessings,

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥