Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Needs Meme

2 comments:
The Needs Meme.  This one is pretty simple and looks like a lot of fun too. Here are the rules:

All you have to do is Google your first name with the word needs behind it and post the results.

The Happy Cat

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Once upon a time, there was a cat that died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful, she had to sleep in cold back alleys where there was no food and life was hard.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The New Blonde Stewardess

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An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blond stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

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This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Top 15 Entrecard Droppers

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This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Church Newspapers ~ Part II

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Church Newspapers ~Part I

1 comment:
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 P.M. There will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Friday, July 25, 2008

The Banana Test

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There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully... Try and answer within 30 seconds Got your answer?

Now click on the 'read more' button to see the analysis.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Engaged, Married or a Mistress...

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Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Let's Offend Everyone

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Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Jar Full of Money...

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A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be more than ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Then the Fight Started

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Accident

1 comment:
To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pickup when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad and I really didn't get hurt so please don't worry too much about me.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Top Ten Country Western Songs

1 comment:
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Liver and Cheese

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Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

Top 15 Entrecard Droppers

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Starts With F and Ends With K?

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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Earring

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A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

Monday, July 14, 2008

Frank of Foxxfyrre's Honk'n'Holl'r...

2 comments:
Frank of Foxxfyrre's Honk'n'Holl'r was on his way to the local Starbucks for a Grande Espresso Macchiato. He'd been craving one all day and he deserved it, after all the extra time he'd spent doing the explaining of how his name is spelled to that annoying girl at the office and still after two guarantees that he's sure he isn't a German she waved with her arm and said, "Didn't we go to school together? Yes. It was you, remember?"

Sweetheart Gift

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A young man wished to buy a pair of gloves for his sweetheart's birthday. So he went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available and asked the saleswoman to have them delivered with a note. While wrapping the gloves, the clerk accidentally mixed up the order and sent a pair of panties instead. Here's the note the young man wrote to his sweetheart.

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Story Game

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It's time to play The Story Game again. I just want you to have something entertaining to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm relaxing on the boat. So play nice. Okay?

Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Her Side ~ His Side

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Her side of the story:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Senior Dress Code

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Many of us 'Old Folks' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.

We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

A Woman's Untimate Fantasy

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In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman’s ultimate fantasy.

98.8% of the respondents said that a woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

Monday, July 7, 2008

The Tragic Loss

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Once there were twin brothers by the name of John and Joe Jones. John Jones had been married until recently, and Joe Jones had always been single. The single brother Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated row boat he loved. It happened that both John and Joe lost the love of their life one fateful day. John Jone’s wife died then the same day Joe’s rowboat filled with water and sank.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Installing Husband 1.0

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Birthday America!

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Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain (now officially known as the United Kingdom).

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Hat Check Girl

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There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel. He got to his room and opened up the Gideon’s Bible to page 1, then called the front desk and asked the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner.

After a while he started making passes, she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Just Like Mom

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Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.

Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"

"No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"

"Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?"

Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again.

"So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet? One that's just like your Mother?"

Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends."

"Excellent!!! So, are you and this girl engaged, yet?"

"I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"