Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Empress Bee

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) has a very special granddaughter who is getting married today. They have all got their dresses, the tuxedos are pressed, but for some silly reason the bride won't get dressed. In fact, they cannot wake her up at all as she was dreaming of her prince charming.

FINALLY she woke up with her little dog, Annie, licking her face... it was time to get ready, but first she ate breakfast then she took Annie for a walk in her garden among the tulips.

Then Lily, the lovely young bride, realized that even with all the planning for the wedding, they had not thought about the CAKE. "Oh My God," she thought out loud. "I'm getting married in three hours and we have no cake!". Immediately she phoned her Grand Mother and asked for help.

"You haven't ordered a cake at all?" asked Empress Bee. "You know that I have said over and over that no occasion no matter how small is complete without cake."

"I know Grand Mother, but you know what kind of pressure weddings can be." replied Lily.

"I know what weddings can be like. Just give me a little bit to get organized and I will give you a call back Lily."

Empress Bee of the High Sea, immediately started making phone calls all over the bluniverse. She phoned Mimi, Queen of Memes in Bloggingham, but quickly changed her mind, for she knows that Boggingham is not noted for its cuisine. She tried Prince Budwick, but he was busy taping a radio show. She then tried contacting Foxxfyrre the Serf, for she remembered that he became the unofficial chef of the Dungeons of Bloggingham (he's a lifer for meme dodging).

Foxxfyrre said he may be able to help, but getting supplies past the guards in the dungeon was going to be difficult. The Empress said that wouldn't be a problem because she had an idea. Together Foxxfyrre and the Empress cooked up a plan to make the most wonderful cake the Bluniverse had ever seen. The plan was crafty but the Empress started by calling Ms. Maggie Moo, who has got experience in baking. Of course Mags hopped on board immediately! It was for lovely Lily. But how are they going to deliver the cake from right coast to left coast on time?

Then up steps the groom to be. He swoops by riding his High Flyer bike, cries I'll ride like I have never ridden before and off he goes, flying in the clouds!

Just before he gets to the wedding city back east, he realizes he doesn't know left from right! He had gone to the Atlantic Boardwalk where he fell in love on first sight with Cynthia Woods, the heavy little hippo at Hooters. She reached out for him, and Bam! He woke up, sweating from this horrible nightmare, realizing that Lily, his true love, would be waiting at the altar, minus cake. So he called say I love you.

"You love me? You've got all this guests at the church and you aren't even dressed? I should have listened to my grandmother Bea. She said over and over that you're a stunk. I guess she never got over that video of you and the hookers from your bachelor party!" Dick thought about what he should say. This had never happened in the Hertz family before. He hoped Foxxfyrre had delivered the cake. "Did the cake arrive at least?" Dick asked. His pissed off bride replied, "I don't need no stinkin' cake! I just want to get married to my true love even if he can't tell left from right. It doesn't matter to me if he fell in love with a Hooter girl. It was just a bachelor party fling."

So the forgiving bride waited at altar for Prince Charming and waited and waited. The hour loomed, then rung, then passed. Alas Prince Charming had still not arrived. Was she jilted? Or did something happen? The suspense was killing her.

She felt a lot better once she squished Suspense. Fleas might be fun in a circus but they really don't make great pets. Finally, she thought she heard a footstep, but realized that it was only the sound of the Budweiser Clydesdale on her television.

Then there was a blinding light and her fairy godmother appeared. She waved her magic wand and said, "Here, my dear. I've brought your cake for you, all the way from Upper state Fairyland, otherwise known as Outer Slobovia. I made it with my own precious hands. The elves and fairies worked so hard gathering all of the ingredients. Can you tell what's sprinkled all over the top?" (and it ain't fairy dust, either....)

Then the charming prince arrived and the wedding was beautiful and they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Contributing Authors (in order of appearance):

Lois of Lowdown From Lois
Sassy Mama Bear of Cafe at the End of the Universe
Vodka Mom of I Need a Martini Mom
Empress Bee (of the High Sea) of Muffin 53
Rhonda of Led Beside Still Waters

Ann of A Nice Place In The Sun
Frank of Foxxfyrre's Honk'n'Holl'r
Ivana of Communiqué by Ivanhoe
Jim of Jim's Little Photo Place
Gracie of Echos of Grace

Mike of Rambling Stuff
Bud of WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog
Henry of Another Day In Paradise
Mimi of Mimi Writes...
Camille of Cupidopolis

Laura of That Grrl
Drilleraa of Brain Freeze
Marilyn of More Random Than Average

A great big THANK YOU to everyone that contributed to Empress Bee (of the High Sea)! Thanks Empress Bee for putting an awesome end to this great story.

For those of you that don't know, there really was a wedding this past weekend of Empress Bee and Sarge Charlies beautiful granddaughter. So some of this story was very true especially the ending. Here's the beautiful bride.

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