Saturday, March 2, 2013

Seymour #7

Department of Child Support Services

251 E. Hackett Road
Modesto, CA 95358
Phone: (866) 901-3212
Fax: (209) 558-3135

In the matter of:

The State of California and the County of Stanislaus on behalf of Julia Sandstone

VS

Seymour the Pet Rock

Julia Sandstone having declared that she is with children and that Seymour is the father of said unborn children, and that Julia Sandstone is in need of prenatal care, and that Julia Sandstone has applied for benefits under the California Medi-Cal program and has been awarded said benefits; the County of Stanislaus on behalf of Julia Sandstone attaches the wages and accounts of Seymour on behalf of Julia Sandstone for recovery of the State of California’s expenses.

In the event that the accounts of Seymour do not cover said expenses, the County of Stanislaus will proceed with attachment of accounts and wages of the Grandfather of the unborn children of Julia Sandstone, Das Skunkmeister.

This document is true and correct and directs all persons to take notice thereof.
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22 comments :

  1. Well, now he's gone and done it! Will their children be Rockettes? Maybe they can grow up to be judges on Dancing with the Rocks? bahahahaha!

    Have a lovely day, Sandee! big hugs xoxo

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  2. Having left no stone unturned in the measured by the quartz response, Seymour's legal counsel -- Element, the elephant pet rock with solid and concrete Colorado State Law -- does and do and other cruciverbiage of any and all imports, to include that of specious, dubious, vacuous and hyperflatus, hereby challenge the legality of said orders pertaining therefrom to herebouts, in so far as Califorlornia cannot even define the rights of the sands through the hourglass, or silicon as a breast implant, forthwith, heretofore, five, six, or whatever time it is. Or, to put it in the less complexitudes preferred by the Skunkmeister, "PHFFFFFFFTTTTT!!!!". Inquarrys therefromwithal are subject to compoundance not taken for granite by parties hitherupon extrapolated as non sequitur. In essence.

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  3. I'm just wondering what Rock Hudson would have made of this ;-)

    Have a no stone unturnedtastic weekend Sandee :-)

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  4. Oh how exciting. Seymour is going to be a daddy. And we get second pick of the litter. We will have to start thinking of names. Guess it depends on whether it is a girl or boy. I believe we would like a young lady. Oh we are so excited, a baby sister rock.
    We cannot wait to see the pebbles.
    Mom is laughing so hard, the silly woman has tears rolling down her cheeks.

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  5. Oh dear...all this verbiage sounds so confusing. Good luck Seymore.

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  6. A typical welfare mother in California.

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  7. Can we call any offspring...Pebbles and BamBam?

    Happy floating...PLU from SSF

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  8. This is what happens when the little head...um...

    But my concern is truly for the wee pebbles. I will follow this case closely.

    Big hugs, honey...

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  9. oh i hope i get a girl one!!! i am so excited! i'll have to go get a pink rhinestone leash!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxo

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  10. oh..rock baby rock!!hahahah :) let's think of names now...

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  11. nothing like being between a rock and a hard place!! hahah! Hopefully Seymour can find a job as a paper weight or he might have to be sentenced to hard labor in the rockpile...ouch.

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  12. I bet he passed out when he got this -- stone cold. Yikes!

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  13. Seymour should have kept his unit in his---where ever rocks keep it.

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  14. LOL! Seymour is in big trouble. You need to find a hiding place for him Sandee!:) Have a good Saturday.

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  15. On the bright side, this didn't fall back onto you, the host family.

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  16. Allow me to be the boulder one among your commentators. Obviously, Mr. Sandstone can't be taken for granite. She has persuaded the state of California to slate Mr. Rock's pay for child support. Basically, she has Seymour by the family jewels.

    However, if "The Pet" acts like a igne-ramus and becomes an ash hole about paying the support, I'm sure California will have no problem chiseling away at his assets. The question is whether Jane will become magman-imous enough to forgive Seymour for putting her between a rock and a hard place? Or will he have endure her stoney stare and gravel at her feet first?

    Such are the quarries that we deal with...

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  17. sounds like a rock solid case against Seymour.

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  18. Poor Seymour! He needs to get his "rocks off" the road next time.

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  19. It sounded okay until the grandfather clause. Maybe you can disown Seymour?

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  20. O My Goodness, Sandee. [LOL] Is a wedding in store at the Sandee house? Or hers?
    ..

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