The British

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying :

American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."

A few weeks later, ‘The British Archaeological Society of Northern England’ reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely sod all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago Britain had already gone wireless."

Just makes you bloody proud to be British, don't it?

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

An Idiot's Idiot

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.

The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Idiots and Geography

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.

My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"

Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.

He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

Wednesdays Question #56

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Who was your least favorite teacher?
Mrs. Wallace (4th grade teacher). She had a ruler that she would rap against your knuckles if you didn't behave. She was just plain mean. You had to eat everything on your lunch tray too. Custard makes me ill. I can't eat it, but she made me eat it. I threw up my entire lunch. To this day I can't stand the old bag.

Idiots and Retail

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.

So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

Edna

This letter was sent to the School Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Lions Bay School,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the West Vancouver Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe.

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was overjoyed that I could tell her to bugger off.

Thank you for that wonderful opportunity.

God bless you all.

Sincerely,

Edna

Silly Sunday #36

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:
  • Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
  • Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
  • If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.
Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher:

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome. Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!'

(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.

They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

Hat tip: Jodi of Jodi's Journey

Silly Sunday Participants
1. Kibitz Spot
2. Laugh Quotes
3. Comedy Plus
4. bethere2day
5. Woodsterman
6. Chinmay
7. Catch My Words ♥
8. Traveling Bells
9. Ivanhoe
10. Ann
11. Marg
12. Da Dude
13. Barb
14. Rajogopalan
15. Linda
16. Judy
17. Tony McGurk
18. Lauren
19. Jim

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The Comment Game

It's time to play the comment game again. We are on our boat for the weekend, but that isn't anything new.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

First comment: Asparagus or Broccoli?

The Golden Years

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call him "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice. "Are you kiddin' me", he barked, "I dropped you off"!

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

Yep it's the golden years!

Hat tip: ♥♥Hubby♥♥

A Farm Kid

When you're from the country ~ your perception is a little different.

A Iowa farmer, in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?"

"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, he went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."

The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

Hat tip: Das Skunkmeister of Skunkfeathers

Wednesdays Question #55

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Who was your best childhood friend?
Toots (Terri Hurliman). We were attached at the hip and had tons of fun together. We even took her parents car out for a spin one night when I spent the night at her house. How we didn't get caught is beyond me, but we were grateful that we got away with one of many teenage things we did and probably shouldn't have done.

The Debt Ceiling

  • Democrats don't understand the debt ceiling.
  • Republicans don't understand the debt ceiling.
  • Liberals don't understand the debt ceiling.
  • Conservatives don't understand the debt ceiling.
  • NO ONE understands the debt ceiling!
SO - Allow me to explain...

Let's say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood.

Your home has sewage all the way up to its ceilings.

What do you think you should do? Raise the ceilings or pump out the sewage?

Automation Gone Bad?

Stolen from Odie of Woodsterman

Silly Sunday #35

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:
  • Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
  • Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
  • If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.
Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

The Obedient Wife!

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, & was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife,"When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!"

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

Silly Sunday Participants
1. Chinmay
2. Laugh Quotes
3. Kibitz Spot
4. Woodsterman
5. Catch My Words ♥
6. Stevebethere
7. Barb
8. Linda
9. Jean
10. Marg
11. Stephen Hayes
12. Mike Golch
13. Judy
14. Traveling Bells
15. Ann
16. Lauren
17. Jim

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Arthritis...

Patrick, who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway next to a priest. His tie was stained, his face and collar was stained with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Tell me now Farder, what causes arthroitis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, lying with wicked women, an excess of alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping with prostitutes and lack of a warm bath.'

Pat muttered in response, 'Well, fancy dat Farder! Oi'm amazed, so Oi am!" Then he returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged Patrick and apologized. 'I'm very sorry, my son, I didn't mean to be so judgmental. How long have you had arthritis?'

Patrick, swaying, says, 'Oh blessed modder o' Mary! Oi don't have it, Farder. But Oi was just reading here - da poor Pope does.'

LESSON: Make sure you fully understand a question before offering the answer.

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

Drunk in Distress

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, He totters and asks, "Can yer give us a push buddy, I can't get started.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and goes back to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.."Just some drunk asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it's three A.M. and it's bloody well pouring with rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. ''Can't you remember about three months ago, when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! I think you should help him!"

The man feels guilty. So he gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark," Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" the husband calls out.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replies the drunk.

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

Fifteen Kids

A woman walks into the a benefits (welfare) office, trailed by 15 kids...

'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?

'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children rush to find seats.

'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'

'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.'

'OK, and who's next?'

'Well, this one he is Terry, also.'

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri.

'All right,' says the case worker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?'

Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes - it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come runnin.' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Terry.'

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'

'I call them by their surnames!'

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

Wednesdays Question #54

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: What is your favorite dessert?
Cold Stone Coffee Lovers Only Ice Cream is my very favorite, but I love pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream during the holidays.

Wordless Wednesday

Jackie and JFK ride through a mid-October blizzard of ticker tape in Manhattan's famed "Canyon of Heroes," three weeks before election day, 1960. Kennedy won New York with 53 percent of the vote to Nixon's 47; the margin of victory in many, many states across the country, however, was far smaller than that. (Paul Schutzer—Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images)

Wordless Wednesday Participants
1. Comedy Plus
2. Popatu Dress
3. Summer
4. Carol
5. Blogger Broadcast
6. Self Sagacity
7. GrammyMouseTails
8. Catch My Words ♥
9. New Hobby
10. Royalegacy
11. Gerber Daisies??
12. RealWorldMom
13. LifeRamblings
14. CameraCruise
15. Vroom!
16. momto8blog
17. DrillerAA
18. MK&K
19. Indrani
20. iMaddy
21. Gabriel
22. bethere2day
23. Laugh Quotes
24. Kibitz Spot
25. From Val's Kitchen
26. Ginger Lilies
27. Ann
28. Ivanhoe
29. Rocks
30. Traveling Bells
31. Sandy M
32. Think Spin
33. Jim
34. Planet of the Apels
35. Windmill
36. AVCr8teur

Check out the new Wordless Wednesday HQ!!

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Little Johnny

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

Hat Tip: Eddie Jo

Anne Boleyn

Teacher: 'Jimmy, who was Anne Boleyn?'

Jimmy: 'She was a flat-iron.'

Teacher: 'What on earth do you mean?'

Jimmy: 'Well, it says here in the history book, 'Henry VIII, having disposed of Catherine of Aragon, pressed his suit with Anne Boleyn.'

Silly Sunday #34

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:
  • Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
  • Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
  • If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.
Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Curious and Whimsical Thoughts!
  • Men who seek happiness are like drunkards who can never find their house but are sure that they have one. - Voltaire
  • The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost
  • At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali
  • How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese? - Charles De Gaulle
  • One camel does not make fun of another camel's hump. Ghanaian Proverb
  • It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. - June Henderson
  • Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. - Carl Sandburg
Silly Sunday Participants
1. Woodsterman
2. Catch My Words ♥
3. Kibitz Spot
4. Comedy Plus
5. Laugh Quotes
6. Jim
7. Ann
8. Ivanhoe
9. Barb
10. Traveling Bells
11. Marg
12. Empress Bee
13. Stephen Hayes
14. Gracie
15. stevebethere
16. Judy
17. Binky
18. Rocks

Learn more about Silly Sunday here.

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Life After Marriage

Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?'

'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic.'

Then Jessica burst out crying. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel started using the most ghastly language, saying things I've never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home. Please Ma.'

'Calm down, Jessica!,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?'

Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.'

More Weird Stuff

  • In France, people eat approximately 500,000,000 snails per year.
  • Approximately one billion snails are served in restaurants annually.
  • Over 90% of all fish caught are caught in the northern hemisphere.
  • 75% of fish caught are eaten - the rest is used to make things such as glue, soap, margarine and fertilizer.
  • Over the last 40 years food production actually increased faster than population.
  • The average person eats almost 1500 lbs of food in a year.
  • Carrots have zero fat content.
  • Carrots were first cultivated in Afghanistan in the 7th century, and they started with yellow flesh and a purple exterior.
  • Chocolate is the number one foodstuff flavor in the world, beating both vanilla and banana.
  • Native Americans never actually ate turkey; killing such a timid bird was thought to indicate laziness.
  • The amount of pizza eaten each day in the USA measures between 75 -100 acres.
  • Found on the seal of a bag of bagels: New and Improved - Made the old fashioned way.

Weird Stuff

  • Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
  • To make one kilo of honey bees have to visit 4 million flowers, traveling a distance equal to 4 times around the earth.
  • An ounce of chocolate contains about 20 mg of caffeine.
  • There are more than 10,000 varieties of tomatoes.
  • Each American eats approximately 22 pounds of tomatoes yearly. Over ½ of the tomato consumption is in the form of catsup and sauce.
  • Peanuts are used in the manufacture of dynamite.
  • A family of four could live for 10 years from the bread produced by one acre of wheat.
  • The world's oldest piece of chewing gum is approximately 9000 years old.
  • Half of the world's population live on a staple diet of rice.
  • Tea is said to have been discovered in 2737 BC by a Chinese emperor when some tea leaves accidentally blew into a pot of boiling water.
  • 1.5 billion cups of tea are enjoyed throughout the world every day.

Wednesdays Question #53

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question:

What is your favorite cold beverage?
Ice cold water is my favorite, and if you're talking about a cold adult beverage it would be champagne.

Readers

  • The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
  • The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
  • The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.
  • USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.
  • The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.
  • The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
  • The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
  • The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
  • The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.
  • The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

More Funny Sayings

  • When you're getting kicked from behind, at least it means you're in front.
  • Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
  • Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
  • Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
  • Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  • The one who snores will fall asleep first.
  • The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

Silly Sunday #33

Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

The rules are simple:
  • Post anything funny or silly on your blog.
  • Add your link on the Silly Sunday linky below.
  • If you want more laughs – read some of the other Silly Sunday posts.
Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

Funny Sayings!
  • Fools rush in where fools have been before.
  • It's called "take home" pay because you can't afford to go anywhere else with it.
  • Success is relative; the greater the success, the more relatives.
  • If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
  • You must have learned from others' mistakes. You haven't had time to think all those up yourself.
  • People like criticism; just keep it positive and flattering.
  • It's OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
  • Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind, and narrowness of the waist, change places.
Silly Sunday Participants
1. Laugh Quotes
2. Comedy Plus
3. Woodsterman
4. Catch My Words ♥
5. Kibitz Spot
6. Barb
7. Ann
8. Marg
9. Traveling Bells
10. Empress Bee
11. Linda
12. Jim
13. Judy
14. Rocks
15. Binky
16. Stevebethere
17. Rajagopalan
18. William K Wallace

Learn more about Silly Sunday here.

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Snotty Receptionist

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "Yes, I have your name here; you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?

The rest of the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied: "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation, but I don't want the same doctor that did yours."

Don't mess with old people!

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Hat tip: Bearman of Bearman Cartoons

 

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