1. It`s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
2. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
3. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
4. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
5. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
6. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor`s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
7. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
8. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
9. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
10. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.