Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Jay Leno

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing, its called the stock market - Jay Leno

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street - Jay Leno

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie.

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it - Jay Leno

7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favorite candy bar - Jay Leno

8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Obama's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures. Jay Leno

9. President Obama's response was to support some small business owners in America. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21. - Jay Leno

10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.

Hat tip: Rajagopalan of Just Out

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16 Brilliant Opinions:

Barb @TheDailyGs on November 30, 2011 3:44 AM said...

"it's a scam. Don't fall for it"... sure wish somebody had told our brilliant politicians that.

Oh, those are good! Sadly, the bigger the crisis, the more fodder the stand-up comedians have for their act.

big hugs xoxo

Jean on November 30, 2011 4:05 AM said...

Sad, isn't it? Boy so many of those ring true. I chuckled at the Nigeria one.

Marg on November 30, 2011 5:43 AM said...

Those are all so sadly true. And pretty funny too. I know I got a good chuckle out of them. Have yourself a terrific Tues. Sandee.

UncleMike on November 30, 2011 5:58 AM said...

These are great. The worse times get, the more the comedians have to work with. Sad but true.

Ivanhoe on November 30, 2011 6:04 AM said...

I'm glad that we can still keep our humor. Soon enough it will be all we have left :(
Have a great hump day, Sandee! :)

Traveling Bells on November 30, 2011 7:37 AM said...

We might as well laugh at our economy cuz we danged sure can't change DC...until next November!

Big hugs, honey...

Babs-beetle on November 30, 2011 7:39 AM said...

Pretty much says it for us too.

We have to look for the funny in everything if we want to enjoy life :)

WomanHonorThyself on November 30, 2011 8:10 AM said...

lol sums it up hun!..xxoo

Stephen Hayes on November 30, 2011 9:51 AM said...

Thanks for the laughs. If I didn't laugh at the truths in these jokes I'd be crying.

Judy Haughton-James on November 30, 2011 11:24 AM said...

These made me laugh Sandee but they give us serious food for thought! I hope your Wednesday is going well. I have been having a hard time with internet problems but it is not acting up too badly for now. Take care.

Ann on November 30, 2011 2:43 PM said...

Well at least our government is supplying the comedians with lots of material

Binky on November 30, 2011 6:08 PM said...

I think I should go shopping on Wal Mart Street.

Bearman on November 30, 2011 9:35 PM said...

I am loving the Nigerian one.

Rhonda on December 02, 2011 2:17 AM said...

Wonderful. I love Leno.

William K Wallace on December 03, 2011 11:32 AM said...

Jay Leno hit it right on the button. I'm amazed that those crooked bankers, and stockbrokers have mostly managed to stay out of jail...

 

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