Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Promise

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the coffee table.

Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She followed by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money."

She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money."

Then she said, "And remember the big beautiful house that sits at the top of the hill that I fell in love with and you said we couldn't afford?" Once more she answered saying, "Well I bought that too with the insurance money and I love living here."

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes . . . "

Stolen from: Hale McKay of It Occurred To Me

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36 Brilliant Opinions:

anthonynorth on June 16, 2009 1:16 AM said...

Now that's the way to scatter ashes.

hypnotherapy on June 16, 2009 2:08 AM said...

hey it was a cheap funny story

Skunkfeathers on June 16, 2009 2:09 AM said...

Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
*aaaaaaaCHOOOO*
...oh, hecky darn poo...
*sound of vacuum cleaner*
*part of the ash is smiling*

Sandy B on June 16, 2009 2:47 AM said...

I still find this one funny! I've missed my daily dose of laughs. Big hugs, honey...

K on June 16, 2009 4:07 AM said...

Needed the laugh this morning - thanks!

DrillerAA09 on June 16, 2009 4:13 AM said...

Well, you know what they say, "Ashes to ashes." Irving, that giant sucking sound you hear... it's not what you were hoping for, that's the vacuum cleaner.

star8278 on June 16, 2009 4:56 AM said...

She must have a really good dust buster!

DianeCA on June 16, 2009 5:28 AM said...

You reap what you sew.....

PinkLady on June 16, 2009 5:38 AM said...

this is really funny!!! it made my day... errrr night... lol :D

Don on June 16, 2009 5:49 AM said...

I made the comment once to a friend of mine whose mom had been recently created that he should take her urn into his den, remove the top and let her watch t.v.
I haven't heard from him since and that was 25 years ago. Oversensitive bastard. (True story)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) on June 16, 2009 6:48 AM said...

uh oh! ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ivanhoe on June 16, 2009 7:23 AM said...

Hahahaha! I guess he deserved it. I would take "him" outside though ;o)

barb on June 16, 2009 7:59 AM said...

Good things come to those who wait! ahahaha!

Lynda on June 16, 2009 8:21 AM said...

Hmmmmmmmn, cold, but, funny.... life is fascinatingly hilarious, yes...
Have a beautiful day, much love, hugs and :))))

Dawn (Twisted Sister) on June 16, 2009 8:55 AM said...

LOL... she's nasty but funny!

mommanator on June 16, 2009 9:08 AM said...

wow thats funny. I actually have heard it before but has a differing impact since my hubbies ashes are siting on a shelf!

Sarge Charlie on June 16, 2009 9:36 AM said...

hummmmmm one last blow job

Karen @ Blazing Minds on June 16, 2009 10:21 AM said...

Still LMAO, I really wasn't expecting that at the end, wicked!!!

Jack K. on June 16, 2009 1:08 PM said...

Where does Hale come up with these funnies?

LMAO

Vodka Mom on June 16, 2009 1:25 PM said...

oh jesus I SHOULD have seen that coming.

MelissaQ on June 16, 2009 2:54 PM said...

hahahahah, That is funny every time I read it! Love it

Jim on June 16, 2009 4:40 PM said...

Hey Sandee, this is neat. Neater still is Hale Mac in that he had a tribute to blogging guru, Old Hoss. I never did visit his blog but had read his comments which are plastered all over the blogging places.

Hugs returned to you, :). This will be Karen's first child. She is our youngest daughter and Mrs. Jim's first blood relative grandchild. :-)
..

KAT on June 16, 2009 7:30 PM said...

Love It!!!

Didn't expect the last line, it made me laugh out loud!!

Thanks!!

Arv on June 16, 2009 8:18 PM said...

LOL... too much :)

Mike Golch on June 16, 2009 9:23 PM said...

works for me! big hug.

Ana on June 17, 2009 1:37 AM said...

Stolen form "It Occurred to me"??????????????????????

Jamie on June 17, 2009 12:47 PM said...

Well deserved ending.

wendy on June 23, 2009 4:26 PM said...

... but she should take them outside first!

Wait. Did I miss that she was sitting OUTSIDE?

Funny.

wendy on June 23, 2009 4:26 PM said...

Ah hah!

I KNEW she was inside!

I knew it.

 

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