A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord my good man?"
Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."
"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookin' for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."
The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"
"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.
"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.
This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When is it gonna be?"
Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day."
Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."
May 31, 2008
The Farmer
May 30, 2008
Cuz You're My Friend!
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card -- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
- When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.
- When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
- When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
- When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
- When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
- When you are confused -- I will use little words.
- When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever the hell you have.
- When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
- This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend.'
May 29, 2008
Heaven or Hell?
While walking down the street one day a U.S. senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator; "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted."
May 28, 2008
The Purina Diet
Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Angel the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me... I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Hat tip: Dixie of Dixie's Heart & Soul
May 27, 2008
My Resimay
To hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.
I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee seam to reespond too me well. Certain men and all the ladies.
I no my spelling is not too good but find that I Offen can get a job wit my persinalety.
My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I kin start emeditely. Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYAN nikname Beefy
PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me. 
Dear Beefy-I mean Bryan,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check.
Hat tip: Tisha of CrAzY Working Mom
May 26, 2008
What Time Is It?
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."
Have a great Memorial Day.
May 25, 2008
The Trooper
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said "Well yeah, if that’s what they are? I never heard of circle flies."
So the farmer says "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s ass."
The trooper says, "Well, that’s a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
May 24, 2008
The Pearly Gates
A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."
"How current is your copy?" he asks.
"I get a download every ten minutes." St. Peter replies, "Why do you ask?"
"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."
"I'm glad to hear that, "Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the update to come through, can you tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?"
The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Hmmm, well there was this one time when I was driving down a road and I saw a group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of them harassing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be next."
"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!'"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"About three minutes ago."
May 23, 2008
The Genius Dog
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again.
He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."
The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth.
The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog. So, off he goes.
The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.
The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus.
Along comes a bus. The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.
The bus travels thru town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, and standing on his hind legs, pushes the button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following.
They walk down the road, and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, takes another run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door again! There's no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to a window, and bangs his head against it several times. He walks back, jumps off the wall, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog, really yelling at him.
The butcher runs up and stops the guy, "What the heck are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for God's sake!"
To which the guy responds, "Clever, my ass. This is the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
May 22, 2008
The Vibrator
As a mom passes her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?"
The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, ummarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband! Please go away and leave me alone."
The next day the girl's father heard the same buzzing coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please go away and leave me alone."
A couple of days later mom came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room.
She entered the living room and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer and staring at the television. The vibrator was next to him on the couch buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
The husband replied, "I'm watching football with my son-in-law!"
Hat tip: Linda of Are We There Yet?
May 21, 2008
The Young Politician...
The young politician had a dream. His dream was one which could change the course of history, so when he woke up next morning, he decided to follow that dream. So he got up and made sure to take a shower and brush his teeth and listen to the news. He was going to bring change to his country, but first, he was going to dress up like a girl! But then he decided the first change would be back into men's clothing. After all, he had to be taken seriously. His dream was to promote less government interference in our daily lives.
He realized that he was still in the business of running the country, for there were still roads to build, schools to run, and Alumni Panty Raids to organize (he was still frat president). After a good weekend of night clubbing with his favorite intern, a revelation came to him, while he was talking into the large porcelain telephone, where he could fund all government programs by running the largest lottery ever run by the government. His only stumbling block was what to set for a grand prize. He decided on the giant hazing paddle that his frat brothers had decided was getting obsolete. They too felt a need for change and had retired the glorious oak paddle to the attic.
He showered again after his long discussion with the porcelain phone, and dressed in his favorite silk smoking jacket and lounge pants. He proceeded to go to the attic, and was shocked to discover that the giant hazing paddle was gone! Except for a few mouse droppings the attic was bare.
Forgetting about the paddle, he was curious and upset about everything having disappeared from the attic. Security was so tight, it seemed improbable. He got back on the porcelain phone to call his frat buddies, thinking that they had something to do with the disappearance of the many items in the attic, but, they denied any involvement. So, he used the yellow phone which was for the Secret Service and ordered a meeting with his father who is also his mentor an advisor. He found out that dad was out of country on a UN mission and would not be back until Monday. He needed to talk to somebody right at this moment. Who could be available?
He decided to phone Mark Spitzer for the much needed advice. Luckily, he has a lot of time on his hands these days and was available. They talked for awhile about pimping the Oval Office. Oval was just too Clintonesque and much too Bushee (pronounced Bush Eh -- I am Canadian). With a little pruning and preening, the Oval Office was transformed into a trigonal planar Think Tank with much more functional furnishings including an Intern friendly ebony desk. Now that the office was much more Fung Shui, he sat down in his new reclining desk chair and realized that he would never have to pay for interns. They worked for free. Spitzer was no good to him.
Instead, he called Rosie O'Donnell because along with the new clarity of mind that his new office brought, he knew that she must have been the hazing paddle thief. He knew that she was not going to be Trumped by anyone. She vehemently denied this accusation stating that she would not lower herself to below comb-over tactics. He apologized for his error, and proceeded to make Rosie his Secretary for the Interior, and we know what a large responsibility this Office is.
His first order of business was to get Rosie to do a fund raiser for his favorite charity. It was called "Our sisters of the Tiny Breasts". They feel no woman should be left behind because God forgot to give her cleavage. Rosie was doing the fundraiser when Eliot Spitzer, Mark's brother called. He said he wanted to go for a swim. While Elliot Spiltzer and the Prince were swimming in their giant almond shaped swimming pool they discussed the plan for starting a giant lottery. But what to do about the prize....the paddle was gone, and the attic was empty so he would simply have to find something else that people would want. How about a date with a transvestite? It seemed a logical conclusion. But then his mentor and father arrived.
They jumped into the almond-shaped pool and into the conversation. Transvestites may not work, as the date could get confusing. What if the relationship lasted and keeping the uterus becomes a reality. Then people all over the world will mock the man who is having a baby. I mean, c'mon. Having tiny breasts is one thing, and they decided to go Panda watching and to start they're very own Tooth Pick factory for they noticed that the bamboo shoots the Panda's chewed on left their pearly whites bright as day. Moments after they decided on this venture, the panda trainer came out and scolded the pandas. The panda’s apparently got a little amorous which is totally inappropriate for an all age’s zoo. To his surprise, the trainer pulled out the stolen hazing paddle in which to scold the pandas. The trainer did not know the fate that was to become him for having this favored treasure.
The president's Panty Raid Alumni were just passing the panda enclosure, and seeing their obsolete hazing paddle, demanded to know why it hadn't been decommissioned. How could the president tell them that microscopic weapons of mass destruction were embedded in the paddle, and that any use of the oak implement would bring down spy satellites or worse? It was pure panic and pandemonium in the panda pit as the president, his father and mentor, and the Panty Raid Alumni pounced on the Panda trainer to finally retrieve the precious paddle. Pops, pips, pows and pwangs could be heard across the pen as punches and purple nurples were peddled by the presidential posse. Peculiar thing, it didn't perturb the panda's passion, for they didn't miss a beat.
Hazing paddle in hand, finally, the young president ordered everyone back to the Trigonal Office for a Power Think and Keg Party. Now that everyone knew that the paddle held WMD's and was a remnant of Reagan’s Star Wars Defense Initiative, he knew he had real damage control to do. He called the police to set up round the clock security for the entire group who had been privy to the top secret information, and he had the police top specialists to keep their eyes and ears trained on the Secret Service as well. He then called in the FBI, the CIA, and certain military leaders from the Pentagon that they might know what had come about and perhaps find a way to make sure this paddle disappeared from scrutiny. That being done behind closed doors on the code blue phone; he joined the party which seemed to have grown in his absence. He noticed one person in particular seemed to not be who they appeared to be. While they looked human a quick knee to the groin proved this man was not a Secret Service Agent. He was from the planet Sexxon II where men's private are located elsewhere. Everyone in the room tackled the alien. Once he was secured, the first lady arrived. She showed her displeasure and said, "Who invited this alien to my party? I arrive fashionably late and everything simply falls apart."
She reached into her purse to get her sassy pink saffron lipstick with the hidden video camera in the bottom of the tube. Just as she pouted her lips and pretended to primp, she was distracted by a handsome man walking towards her with sultry fire in his eyes and a glass of Godiva. She was so enchanted by his gaze - and the aroma of the chocolate delight - that she accidentally dropped the lipstick camera in the drink. She had to think! Quick! She had to distract him! So the First Lady asked the delicious guy to please get another, it was after all her favorite; which he did without noticing her finger ready to fish the lipstick camera out of the glass, though he did turn around to offer to take it with him. She told him, "No, that is alright, but, please bring something with which to clean my lipstick case off with." He nodded his head, and off he went.
The first lady did not notice her husband was watching her closely, nor that he had been doing so for quite some time. He had suspicions about her curious behavior, every since he began to run for office. The fiery eyed man came back with her drink, a bar towel and some napkins. He was mesmerized by her, this she knew for sure, for they had the same superfluous nipple that was oddly placed just below the left ear. Never seeing another person with such an odd anomaly, they discussed in depth their personal information and discovered that they were fraternal twins separated at birth and raised by different families. What’s worse is that they had been told by doctors that their superfluous nipple was a result of an absorbed twin, so actually they had each absorbed their sibling. They could have been born triplets.
Having a few more drinks they were getting a little tipsy and delved deeper into each other’s personal lives. The handsome brother admitted that he had sexual identity problems all his life and went through a full sex change because of it. The First Lady blushed and became quite uncomfortable after her brother/sister indulged this information. He asked why, and she told him that she had also had gender identity problems and actually was born male. The Brother/Sister, and the First Lady/Gentleman hugged each other to console each other. Once they embraced they had accidentally brushed against each other’s superfluous nipples. At that moment a voice announced that, "You complete me." It was the third sibling, which now had made its presence known to everyone. But the sibling had a plan, and that was to reveal that the First Lady/Gentleman were in fact from the ruling family of the Planet Sexxon II. All of the time they had lived on earth was but recorded information stored on chips in their brains.
The pair turned from the table in unison a strange look upon their faces, and started to walk towards the President who saw them coming. He quickly said, "Monica, give it a rest." He turned to the two and said he is aware of their strange behavior and secret meetings and after the party he wanted to have a word with them. He was sure that they were not of this Earth and he could create massive power if he could derive as much from them as possible...
What he didn't know was that the two Sexxonite twins and their superfluous-nipple-absorbed brother, who has now become the leader of the trio named Surnip, were here on earth to answer a distress call from their imperious leader Klinn Tonn known to the earthlings as Bill Clinton. First Lady/Gentleman Monica told the President that Klinn Tonn had set up a secret base on earth. Not sure of the location of the base, they stated to the President that it was in the valley of the peaks of the Grand Tetons for Klinn Tonn set this base up to keep abreast of the coming crisis. Surnip interjected, "The Grand Tetons have strategic importance to success of our mission to avoid the coming crisis."
The President immediately ordered Air Force One to take them all to the Tetons. During the flight, Surnip told the President of the events leading to the coming crisis, and had asked if he was in possession of Holy Phallus of Sexxon. The President was not sure of what he meant, but Surnip described the Holy Phallus. From his description of the Phallus, the President said, "That must be the Panty Raid Alumni Hazing Paddle; it's the only thing it could be."
Surnip pleaded with the President to make sure that the Phallus could be sent to the base, for without it the second coming of the Phrough of Sexxon could not happen. The President immediately ordered the Hazing Paddle/Holy Phallus to be sent to the valley between the peaks of the Grand Tetons to meet the arrival of Air Force One. The President thanked Surnip for the information, but also told him it was really strange to talk to a pair of superfluous nipple of which one is on my wife/husband and the other is on her brother/sister. They arrived at the Grande Tetons and immediately checked all of them into an insane asylum where they lived happily ever after. Nipples and all.I would like to thank all those that participated. I love all the twists and turns that you came up with. I will also say that my readers certainly have a twisted sense of humor. I like that very, very much. You are all awesome. Big hug!
Contributing Authors (in order of appearence):
Lois of Lowdown from Lois
Lyn of Lynda's Loft
Ivana of Communiqué by Ivanhoe
Callie Ann of Scrappin... with Life
The Teach of Work of the Poet
Empress Bee (of the High Sea) of Muffin 53
Frank of Foxxfyrre's Honk'n'Holl'r
Sassy Mama Bear (Penelope Anne) of The Cafe at the End of the Universe
Dawn of Twisted Sister
Mimi Lenox of Mimi Writes; Message In A Bottle; The Peace Globe Gallery; and BlogBlast For Peace
Bud Weiser of WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog
Diana of DianeCA's Metamorphoses
Chuck of Foster Me Up
Rhonda of Rhonda's Blog
Julia Smith of A Piece of My Mind
Hikari of Best Frenz 4eva
Ann of A Nice Place In The Sun
Arte y Pico Award
Mel of Attitude, The Ultimate Power awarded me the “Arte y Pico” award because he thinks I'm one of the funniest people in the blogosphere. Thank you so very much Mel. You are a great blogging buddie.
The Rules:
I would like to pass on this award to 5 excellent (Five Star) bloggers (Just five? There are so many in my side bar that are so deserving):
Ann of A Nice Place In The Sun. Ann is one of the most original bloggers out there. Her posts are always a great read. I so look forward to her Tuesday question each week. She also is a very dear friend.Tisha of CrAzY Working Mom. She is a delightful read. Her life stories wrap you up and take you away. She is a steller mommy too who's expecting her third peanut soon.Lyn of Lynda's Loft where I get my daily fix of beautiful love poetry. How she can write a poem every single day is just beyond me.Misty of My Dogs Keep Me Sane. Travel with her through life, her work and her love of photography. Misty has a very special spot in her heart for her beautiful border collies.
So take your well deserved award and pass it along to those that are special to you. Thank you for bringing me such joy, laughter and friendship.
May 20, 2008
Wordless Wednesday #48
Check out the new Wordless Wednesday HQ!! Powered by... Mister Linky's Magical Widgets.
View More Wordless Wednesday Participants
Marina West Yacht Club
Last weekend was a scheduled cruise-in to Marina West Yacht Club. Our club absolutely loves visitng MWYC. They treat us wonderfully to say the least. Whatever we need or want is provided and a good time is always had by all. I wanted to share with my readers what the port captain is responsible for. During the winter months we drive to our destinations so my work is whatever I'm assigned to do. During the spring/summer and into the fall I'm responsible for getting all the boats in and tied up and when it's time to depart I reverse the order and one by one each boat is released from the dock. This requires me to be the first boat into each function and the last boat out. The slideshow below shows the Marina West Clubhouse, all our boats, and even a tugboat hooking up to pilot a freighter into the port of Stockton.
I'm the one in the blue shorts and polo shirt. This was Sunday morning when we were leaving after a wonderful weekend.
Here's the fleet at the dock of Marina West. Our boat is on the left, next to the dock. 
May 19, 2008
Mimi's Labor of Love
Mimi has a new site called The Peace Globe Gallery that she has organized to showcase globes #1 - 739. Read the entire post HERE.
In a few short weeks bloggers from all across the globe will blog for peace.
Won't you join us?
June 4, 2008
How To Get Your Peace Globe
You can begin to spread the peace train by posting the list below on your blogs. Mimi is cooking up a mean meme (peacefully of course) to go along with it later this week. Or snag the code in her sidebar with the scrolled version of this same list if you'd like. Here's a button for the new site!
Numbered #1-739
Mimi Writes and Dating Profile Of The Day 2- 2CarolinaCats 3- 2CarolinaCats (2) 4- 2nd Lt Lundell 5- 7th Heaven 6- 42 7- The Cats Stephens 8- Airhead-55 9- Everything and Nothing 10- And Miles To Go Before We Sleep 11- Getting A Grip On Grace 12- Getting A Grip On Grace (2) 13-Alicia M Ballard 14- Angell'z Secretz 15- Angel Mama 16-Snapshots of Life In Pictures and Words 17-The Anitokid 18- Anndi's Luggage 19-Ann M & The Kitties 20- Another Tangential Thinker 21- Anyhow Blogs 22- A Pity I'm An Aquarius 23- Artsy Catsy 24-Asara's Mental Meanderings 25-Mojok Pojok 26-The Audball 27- Everything and Then Some 28 - A Voice To Be Heard 29 - Words That Flow (1) 30-Words That Flow (2) 31- Baring It All For Cancer Research 32 - Words That Flow (3) 33 - Words That Flow (4) 34- Words That Flow (5) 35- Baby Owls Go To Bed 36-Furry Logic 37-The Ballicus Blog (1) 38 - The Unity Project and The Love Blog 39 - Bart Wicked Tribe 40- Basset Knitter 41- Normal Life 42 - Becca's Byline 43 - Muffin53 (1) 44 - Muffin53 (2) 45 -Asta's World 46- Benjamin The 2nd 47- Benji Golden Retriever 48- Ben Spark2: Electric Boogaloo 49- The Ben Spark 50- Life In The Fortress 51- Birchsprite 52- Bittersweet Coffee 53- Jeter Harris (1) 54-Frank's Honk 'n Hollr (1) 55- Foxxfyrre's Honk 'n Hollr (2) 56- Foxxfyrre's Honk 'n Hollr (3) 57- Blog That Mommy! 58- Blog That Mommy (2) 59- Blue Country Magic (1) 60-Blue Country Magic (2) 61- On The Wings Of My Dream 62 - Bobbarama 63- Random Thoughts of A Simple Gal 64 - One Reader At A Time 65 - The Big Leather Couch (1) 66 - The Big Leather Couch (2) 67- The Big Leather Couch (3) 68- The Big Leather Couch (4) 69-Creating Peace 70-Bonnie Underfoot and Victor Tabbycat (1) 71- Bonnie Underfoot and Victor Tabbycat (2) 72- Book-a-Rama 73- O So Mo Love 74- Bwog Of The Genius Cat 75 - Southern Expressions 76- The Passing Stranger (1) 77- The Passing Stranger (2) 78- Random Drift 79-WTIT Tape Radio (1) 80- WTIT Tape Radio (2) 81 - WTIT Tape Radio (3) 82 -Butchy & Snickers 83- Scrappin' With Life 84 - LifeCruiser 85 - Capt Caveman 86-Caspersmom 87- Cat Banter With Kimo and Sabi (1) 88- The Cat Blogosphere (1) 89- Cathy's Rants & Ramblings 90- Cats Goats & Quotes 91- Catymology 92 - Caylynn's Contemplations 93 - The Ballicus Blog (2) 94 - The Ballicus Blog (3) 95 - Go Forth And... 96- Chase 97- Chey's Place (1) 98- Chey's Place (2) 99 - China Cat's Blog 100 - Chookooloonks 101 - The Ordinary Mystic 102 - Epiphany Sanctuary 103 - Epiphany Sanctuary (2) 104 - Comrade Kevin 105 - A Little Piece of Me 106 - Blue Country Magic 107 - Blue Country Magic 108 - Infinitely Crazy 109 - Crooked Eyebrow 110 - Curry Egg 111 - Cyclone Cats 112 - Daisy Mae Maus & The Feline Americans 113 - Daisy Mae Maus & The Feline Americans (2) 114 - Purrchance To Dream 115 - Codepink: Women For Peace 116- Dayngrous Discourse 117 - Democats 118 - Derby The Sassy Cat 119 - Blogacide 120 The Ice Box 121 - All Things True To Me 122 - Dixie's Heart and Soul 123 - Dixie's Heart and Soul (2) 124 - Dixie's Heart and Soul (3) 125 - DK & F's Secret Paws 126 - Dog's Eye View 127 - Dr. Benton Quest 128 - Dragonheart's Domain 129 - Dragonheart's Domain (2) 130 - Drawing On Words 131 - Dr. John's Fortress 132 - Eclair's Exciting Escapades 133 - Our Red Thread Journey 134 - Edsel The Pooch 135 - South By West (1) 136 - South By West (2) 137 - South By West (3) 138 - Electronic Village 139 - Now Is Wow 140 -A Blog For Emma 141 - A Blog For Emma (2) 142 - Kat's Cat of The Day 143 - Muffin53 144 - The Enchanted Daffodil 145 - Screw Perfection 146 - Screw Perfection (2) 147 - Our Life By Eric and Flynn 148 - The Thoughts of Artemis 149 - Evil Blogger Twin 150 - City Lights 151 - The Famous Five and 1 In Spirit 152 - The Sextet Speaks! 153 - Filip's Blog 154 - Filip's Blog 155 - Fingerprints On My Walls 156 - Fini 157 - Attack Cats! Fiona & All! 158 - Flatwater Tech 159 - Forest Dogs 160 - Foxxfyrre's Black and White Gallery 161 - Foxxfyrre's Honk 'n Hollr 162 - Delta Bunny 163 - Soliloguy 164 - From A Bee's Point of View 165 - Fruit Of The Spirit 166 - Gabrielle 167 - QotD: A Meme Blog of Gabrielle 168 - Gabrielle (2) - 169 - Writer Cramps 170 - Gloria 171 - Gem-osophy 172 - Gemini's Adventures 173 - Imagined Life 174 - Happy Tiler 175 - GinaFish 176 - Echoes of Grace 177 - House of The (Mostly)Black Cats 178 - One Million Dollar Project 179 - Notso's 180 - Grr, Midnight & Cocoa 181 - Guanaguananare: The laughing gull 182 - The View From Here 183 - Boho Rhap 184 - Sword Mama 185 - Mr. Hendrix The Kitty 186 - Just Call Me SCANJolina Jolie 187 - Holly's Corner Blog 188 - Honjii's Harangues 189 - Hootin' Anni's 190 - A Window Within Myself 191 -Perpetual Writer's Blog 192 - Icon Baxter Bentley 193 -Lone Wolf In The Highlands 194 - I Was Born2Cree8 195 - Migraine Chow 196 - South By West (4) 197- Pregnant Pauses 198 - Israeli Mom 199 - It's All Good 200 - Jack Of All Shades and Shadows 201 - For What It's Worth 202 - Jack Of All Shades and Shadows (2) 203 - Jack Of All Shades and Shadows (3) 204 - Jake and Bathsheba 205 - Venters2 206 - Duward Discussion 207 - Cozy Reader 208 - The Jannaverse 209 - Brothers Wishlist 210 -Xenogere 211 - Something To Say: About Life In The Netherlands 212 - Big Book Of You Blog 213 - The Furry Diva 214 - Hunna's Happenings 215 - Life Is RANTastic 216 - Hunna's Happenings (2) 217 - Jeter Harris 218 - My Little Corner 219 - The Rising Blogger 220 -Flip This Body 221 - Mysterious Musings 222 - Crazy Quilt 223 - Julie's Jewels and Junque 224 - This Is You Reading About Me - Yin Yang 225 - Junior Babee (1) 226 - Junior Babee (2) 227 - Junior Babee (3) 228- Junior Babee (4) 229 -Junior Babee (5) 230 - Fearfully Made 231 - Kitty Limericks 232 - Reason Enough 233 - The Cat Realm 234 - Kat's Journey To Success 235 - Kate Spin 236 - Diary Of A Heretic and Manny's Place 237 - Kat's Cat of The Day 238 - Katnippia 239 - Kat's Cat of The Day MySpace 240 - Kaze The Cat 241 - Kellyology 242 - Cat Banter with Kimo & Sabi 243 - The Dragon: 050376 244 - Casting On 245 - Evolving Your Spirit, Mind, Body 246 - Evolving Your Spirit, Mind, Body (2) 247- The Laments of A Brokenhearted Silhouette 248 - Solitary Views 249 - On The Lake Front 250 - Last Minute Lyn's Life 251- Latte The Meezer 252 -The Bronzed Shoe Archives 253 - Whereabouts 2 54 - Fungi Thinking 255 - Laura in Portugal 256 - The Birds and The Beads 257- A Stitch In Time 258-Levi King of Ramble 259 - Lexa Roseann 260- The Witch Doctor Is In 261- Libby's Blog 262 -Lifecruiser 263- News From Hawkhill Acres 264- Lilly and Iris Tell All 265- Mu Shue Pooh King Cat 266 - Are We There Yet? 267 - This and That 268-Rock and Star 269 - Finding Life Hard? 270-I AmWoman, See Me Blog! (1) 271-I Am Woman, See Me Blog! (2) 272-It's Sanni-licious (1) 273- It's Sanni-licious (2) 274-Luxor (1) 275-Luxor (2) 276-Luxor (3) 277-Maddspace: Maddisms & Whatever! 278-Min Pin Mania 279- Picture Clusters 280-Mama Milton 281-The Ballicus Blog (2) 282-Mao's Mews 283-Maremagnum 284-Marie The Defender 285-Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1) 286-Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (2) 287-More Random Than Average 288-Sternenwirbel (1) 289- Sternenwirbel (2) 290- Maryam 291- Bagwine Ruminations 292-Dixie's Heart and Soul 293-Mattingly and Harlie 294-The Psychokitty Speaks Out (1) and The Adventures of Buddah Pest (2) 295- The Psychokitty Speaks Out (2) and The Adventures of Buddah Pest (2) 296-Meeaugraphie 297- The Meezer Gang 298- Meloncutter Musings 299-Merlin's Meows (1) 300-Purrchance To Dream 301-Merlin's Meows (2) 302-The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile (1) 303- The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile (2) 304- Mickey Mantle - Brother of Jeter Harris 305 - Grrr....Midnight and Cocoa 306- Milk and 2 Sugars 307- Darling Millie (1) 308- Darling Millie (2) 309- Mimi Writes (2) 310- Dating Profile Of The Day and BlogBlast For Peace: The Official Site 311- Mississippizen 312- Missy & KC (1) 313-Meowers From Missouri (1) 314-Missouri Meowers (2) 315- Missy & KC (2) 316-Missy & KC (3) 317-Missy & KC (4) 318- The Adventures of The M's 319- Unplug Your Kids 320- Moonroot 321- It's A Blog Eat Blog World (1) 322 - Purrchance To Dream Manic Monday 323- It's A Blog Eat Blog World (2) 324-It's a Blog Eat Blog World Manic Monday (3) 325- It's A Blog Eat Blog World (4) 326- Purrchance To Dream (2) 327 -Mother Of Invention 328- Mousey 329 - Mr. Wonderful Does It Again 330-Miss Maggie Moo Talks 2U 331 - Just gotta Hang On.... 332-Insanity prevails 333-The Chrysalis Stage 334- Kids, Cats, & Books: What Else Is There? 335- Obsidian Kitten 336- Odat's Mumblings 337-O Mighty Isis 338-Opinion Minions 339- I Was NOT Named For A Cookie!! Right?! 340-Pablog 341-Trav's Thoughts 342 - Mimi Writes (3) 343 -Dona Nobis Pacem: The Peace Globe Posts 344 -Parlancheq 345 -Late Bloomer Boomer (1) 346 -Late Bloomer Boomer (2) 347- Doctor Anonymous 348 - Peanut, Peanut Butter.... Jelly2 349 - Peggy's Musings 350 - Perfectly Parker 351 - Necessary Skills 352 - Pet Prayer & Praise Blog 353 - Pet Purrs and Purrayers 354 -Piacere 355-Stochastic Ruminations 356 - Pimp Your Blog 357 - Daisy The Curly Cat 358 -Pjocall 359-The War Within 360-Cherry, Plum, & Dansom Blossoms 361 - Cherry, Plum and Dansom Blossoms (2) 362 - The Moving (Middle) Finger Writes (1) 363 -The Moving (Middle) Finger Writes (2) 364-PT-LawMom 365 - Pumpkin's World 366-Queenie's Random Ramblings 367 - A Day In The Life... 368-Reba's Run! 369-A World of Bloggers (1) 370-Return Of The White Robin 371 -RK 372 - A World of Bloggers (2) 373-Rocky Ann 374 -Rocky's Ramblings (1) 375 -The Rocky Mountain Retreat 376 -Rocky's Ramblings (2) 377 -World Outside My Windo w 378 - Heavenly Voice 379 -Quotes In Can 380 -The Many Adventures of Wonder Ruby 381 -Rubys N Purls 382 -Me, My Life, My Garden 383 -Ruth Speaks Up 384 -Polliwog's Pond 385 -Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady (1) 386 -Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady (2) 387 -Life From A Cat's Perspective 388 -Sammawow (1) 389 -Sammawow (2) 390-Comedy Plus 391 -It's Sanni-licious (1) 392 -It's Sanni-licious (2) 393 - It's Sanni-licious (3) 394 - Sapot-Litrato 395 - Sarge Charlie (1) 396 -Sarge Charlie (2) 397 - Sarge Charlie (3) 398 - Savvyology 399 -Scrungy's Creator 400 -Twenty-Three and Counting 401 -SGTDUB (1) 402 - SGTDUB (2) 403 -Shadow Saluki 404 - This Eclectic Life 405 - The Painted Veil 406 - Simone's Butterfly 407 - Skeezix's Scratching Post (1) 408 - Skeezix's Scratching Post (2 ) 409 - Skeezix's Scratching Post (3) 410 - Skindiver 411 - Sweet Like Kitty (1) 412 - Sweet Like Kitty (2) 413 - Sweet Like Kitty (3) 414 - Sparky's Blog (1) 415 - Sparky's Blog (2) 416 - Philly Transplant 417 - A Spider's Web 418 - Spilling Out! 419 - My Life As We Think I Know It 420 - Purrchance To Dream 421 - Here Comes A Storm In The Form Of A Girl (1) 422 - Here Comes A Storm In The Form Of A Girl (2) 423 -Here Comes A Storm In The Form Of A Girl (3) 424 - The Friendliest Flower 425 - Mother's Home 426 - Studio Susie Says... (1) 427 - Studio Susie Says...(2) 428 - Sunflower Optimism 429 - Susan Lee 430 - Orphie The Wonder Dog 431 - Suz 432 - Diurnata 433 - Kentucky Gal 434 - Katnippia 435 - Tara, Princess Meezer 436 - TeaTime Ramblings 437 - The Secret Backup Blog 438 - Soliloguy 439 - Meezer Tails (1) 440 - The Cat Blogosphere 441 - Meezer Tails (2) 442- The Screaming Pages 443 - Tennessee Text Wrestling (1) 444-Tennessee Text Wrestling(2) 445-Lily's Pad 446-Tiggerprr's Scratching Post 447-A Blip On The Radar 448-Crazy Working Mom (1) 449-Crazy Working Mom (2) 450-The Creativity Blog (1) 451-The Creativity Blog (2) 452-TomToms 453- Bad Jokes and Oven Chips 454-Bad Jokes and Oven Chips (2) 455-Trav's Thoughts (1) 456-Trav's Thoughts (2) 457-Tripper The Psycho Cat 458-Tulipa Negra 459- And As The World Turns (1) 460-And As The World Turns (2) 461-And As The World Turns (3) 462-And As The World Turns (4) 463-And As The World Turns (5) 464-Tuxedo Gang 465- Twyla 466-US Danes Meme Page 467-Bitter Cup of Joe 468-William The Cats 469-William The Old Fart 470-William The Old Fart (2) 471-Willow's Cat Blog 472-Wil's Blog 473-Windy Willow and Salix's Art Nook 474-The Wired Kayaker 475-WMD William of Mass Destruction 476-Wolfbaby 477-The Wren's Nest 478-Writer's Ink 479-Yaxlich 480-Trav's Thoughts (3) 481-Webs of Significance 482-Yuki & Kimiko 483 - Zenith & The Fancidots Gang 484-Impact Of A Soul From A Soul To A Soul 485-Zero Impact 486-Zippy, Sadie & Sp eedy 487-Kitty Limericks STARTING NOVEMBER 2007 488- 2CarolinaCats (3) 489- A Blog For Emma 490- A Broad In Costa Rica 491- Airhead-55 492- Alasandra 493 - A Little Piece of Me 494- All About Me 495 - Almost Somewhat Positive 496 - And As The World Turns (6) 497 - And Everything Thereafter 498 - And Miles To Go Before I Sleep 499 - Angell'z Secretz 500- A Nice Place In The Sun 501 - Anndi's Luggage 502 - Answers To The Questions 503 - Anyhow Blogs 504 - Are We There Yet? 505 -Artsy Catsy 506 - Asara's Mental Meanderings 507 - A Stitch In Time 508 - Baaahhh! 509 - Baby Mao 510 - Bagwine Rumination s 511- Beau Beau & Angie's Fur Days 512- Billion Dollar Baloney (1) 513 - Billion Dollar Baloney (2) 514 - Billion Dollar Baloney (3) 515 - Billion Dollar Baloney (4) 516 - Billion Dollar Baloney (5) 517 - Billion Dollar Baloney (6) 518 - Black Tennis Pro's 519 -Blue Country Magic 520 - Boho Rhap 521- The Big Leather Couch 522-Brain Foggles 523 - Butchy & Snickers 524- Cap'n Dyke Lesbian Pirate Queen & Rogue Blogger 525- Carver's Sight or Is That Site? 526 - Carver's Sight or Is That Site (2) 527- Casey: Meezer Diva 528 - Cat Banter with Kimo and Sabi 529 -Cats Goats & Quotes 530- Catymology 531 - casa de Charlotte della luna 532- Charlie! 533-Chey's Place 534- China Cat's Blog 535- Christine of Epiphany 536 - Sanni-licious 537 - Pimp Your Blog 538 - Comedy Plus 539 - Costa Rica Crazy 540 -Crazy Quilt 541-Crazy Working Mom 542 - Cyclone Cats 543 - Daisy Mae Maus & The Feline Americans 544 - Daisy The Curly Cat 545 - Dallas Maio'd 546 - Derby, The Sassy Cat 547- Diary of A Heretic (1) 548 - Diary of A (Slow) Triathlete 549 - Diurnata 550 - Divas Never Die 551-Dixie's Heart and Soul 552 - Dixie's Heart and Soul 553 - Dixie's Heart and Soul 554 - Doctor Anonymous 555 - Dogs With Blogs, World of Turbo, Opy The Original Gruff Puppy, Chucksie-Bux 556 - Down River Drivel 557 - Dragonheart's Domain 558 - Duward Discussion 559 - Echoes Of Grace 560- Endangered Spaces 561 - Eric & Flynn 562 - Everything and Nothing 563 - Everything and Nothing 564 - Evil Blogger Twin 565 -Finding Blanche 566 - Foxxfyrre's Honk 'n Hollr 567 - Gabrielle 568 -Gill's Jottings 569 - GinaFish 570 - Girly With A Twist 571 - Gretchen's Paw Prattle 572 - Grr, Midnight & Cocoa 573 - Hahn At Home 574 - Hardly Subtle 575 - Heart Full O Cat 576 -Here Comes A Storm In The Form of A Girl 577 - Home In France 578 - Honjii's Harangues 579 - House of the (Mostly) Black Cats 580 - I Am Woman, See Me Blog! 581 - Idaho Daily Photo (1) 582 - Idaho Daily Photo (2) 583 - Impact Of A Soul From A Soul To A Soul 584 - It's A Blog Eat Blog World 585 - It's All Good 586 - Jack Of All Shades and Shadows 587 - Jasper Mckitten-Cat 588 - Jersey The Furry Diva 589 -Jersey The Furry Diva 590 - Julie's Jewels and Junque 591 - Just Write 592 - Katie Zipper Doodle 593 - Katnippia 594 -Kat's Cat Of The Day 595 - Kat's MySpace 596 - Kattenpraatt's Catwalk 597 - Kattonic Cats 598 - Kid's, Cats & Books - What Else Is There? 599 - Kids, Cats & Books - What Else Is There? (2) 600 - Kids, Cats & Books - What Else Is There? 601 - Kitty Limericks 602 -Knit For Joy 603 - Knitnana 604- Late Bloomer Boomer 605- Late Bloomer Boomer (1) 606-Late Bloomer Boomer (2) 607- Life 608- LifeCruiser 609-Life From A Cat's Perspective 610 - Life Is Just Around The Corner 611- Life Isn't About Finding Yourself 612 - Lily's Pad 613 -Liza del los Reyos 614 - Luxor 615- Miss Maggie Moo Talks 2 U 616-Manx MNews 617 - Mao's Mews 618- Maremagnum 619 - Marie The Defender 620- MauiGirl's Meanderings 621- Meezer Tails 622- Meloncutter Musings 623- Me, My Life, My Garden 624 - Meowers From Missouri 625-Mickey Mantle Brother of Jeter Harris 626 - Mickey's Musings 627 - Mieow 628 - Migraine Chow 629- Missy, KC & Bear 630-Modern Musings 631 - Mom Knows Everything 632 -Mommy Bytes 633-Mojok Pojok 634-More Average Than Random 635 -Mother's Home! 636 - Mrs. Who's Open Book 637 - Mr. Zenith and The Fanidots Gang 638 -Muffin53 639-Mummified Times Five 640-Mum's Got A Dot Com 641-My Dogs Keep Me Sane 642 - My Life Is Murphy's Law 643-My Life Is Murphy's Law (2) 644-My Life Is Murphy's Law (3) 645-My Life Is Murphy's Law (4) 646 - My Life Is Murphy's Law (5) 647 - My Life Is Murphy's Law (6) 648 - Necessary Skills 649 - Nobody Important 650 - Not Afraid To Use It 651- Odat's Mumbling 652- On A Limb With Claudia 653- On The Lake Front 654-O So Mo Love 655-Our Life By Eric and Flynn 656- Peanut....Peanut Butter, Jelly2! 657-Pimp Your Blog 658-Pimp Your Blog 659-Pimp Your Blog 660- Polliwog's Pond 661- Prudence and Madness 662 - Pumpkin's World 663 - Pumpkin's World 664-Purrchance To Dream 665-Random Autumness 666-Rocky's Ramblings 667-Royal Kitties 668-Sammawow 669 - Santa's Mailbox 670- Sarge Charlie 671 - Scrappin' 672 - Sheltered Sanity 673 - Skeeter & LC 674 -Skittle's Place 675 - Snapshots of Life in Words and Pictures 676 - Solitary Views 677-Solitary Views 678- Sparkling Lotus-Land 679 -Scrungy and Friends 680-Here Comes A Storm In The Form Of A Girl 681 - Starry Skye and Just Say Ooh Rah 682 - Blogging Sublimely 683 -Sugar Queen's Dream 684 - Sugar Queen's Dream 685 - Sweet Ariel 686 -Table For Five 687 -Tara, Princess Meezer 688-Tarheel Ramb lings 689- Tarheel Ramblings (2) 690-Tea Leave s 691 - Team Tabby 692 - The Secret Backup Blog 693 - The Love Blog, The Unity Project, World United Bloggers 694 - The Adventures of Vincent and Mike 695 - The Big Leather Couch 696 - The Goat Rodeo 697 - The Jannaverse 698 - The Laments of A Brokenhearted Silhouette 699- The Many Adventures of Wonder Ruby 700- The Mo Show 701 - The Mo Show (2) 702 - The Painted Veil 703 - The Passing Stranger 704 - The Spirit Knows Best 705 - The Starr Ann Chronicles 706 - The Thoughts of Artemis 707 - This and That 708 - This That & The Other Thing 709 - Thorne's World 710 - Tiger Girl Lamb 711 - Transitions 712 - Trav's Thoughts 713 - Trav's Thoughts 714 - Trav's Thoughts 715 - Trav's Thoughts 716 - Tricotine 717 -Tripper The Psycho Stray Cat 718 - Twilight Mug 719 - Twist & Sk ewer 720 -Unplug Your Kids 721 - Vixen's Den 722 - Wading Through My Stream of Cons ciousness 723- Watgog 724 - Wayne's World 725 - What? Mermaids? 726 - Willow's Cat Blog 727 - Windy Willow and Salix Art 728 - Wired! 729 - Words That Flow 730 - Words That Flow (2) 731 - Words That Flow (3) 732 - Words That Flow (4) 733-Words That Flow (5) 734 - Work Of The Poet 735 - Writer's Cramp 736 -Yao-lin's Yawnings 737 - Yo Quiero Paco Belle 738 - You Can't Become A Goddess Overnight 739 - Saturday9 and counting....
Monday's Thoughts
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice the Roman numerals for forty (40) are XL.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that when you call him or talk to him, he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt!
Did you ever notice when you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs?'
May 18, 2008
May 16, 2008
The Story Game
It's time to play The Story Game again. I just want you to have something entertaining to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm working as port captain of our yacht club. So play nice. Okay?
Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off. Next week I'll give it an ending and post our story with the links to everyone who participated under the heading, "Contributing Authors". You can play as many times as you want and the game will run all weekend. Thanks for playing along.
Here's the start of our next adventure:
The Young Politician...
Related Posts:
The Evil Queen
The Handsome Prince
May 15, 2008
Jesus Is Watching You!
A burglar breaks into a house real late on night and as he is sneaking around the house with his flashlight, he hears a voice that loudly says, "Jesus is watching you!".
The burglar, thinking he has been caught, stops in his tracks. Silence. So he starts looking through the house again when suddenly he hears, "Jesus is watching you!".
Again the burglar stops in his tracks. After a few minutes he hears nothing, so he starts moving around again, and as before, hears "Jesus is watching you!". This time he hunts for the voice and finds a parrot sitting on a perch.
The burglar askes the parrot if he said that and the parrot said, "yes". The burglar laughs and says "so, what's your name birdie?", and the Parrot replies, "Clarence". The burglar laughs even more and says, "What kind of idiot would name a Parrot "Clarence"?
The parrot replies "The same idiot that named the rottweiller "Jesus".
Hat tip: Mimi of Mimi Writes
Tomorrow is The Weekend Story Game! Come back and play.
May 14, 2008
The Chase
There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life; he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock. But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.
So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, Why can't I touch its fur? ” There didn't seem to be anything wrong with it.
Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldn't understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.
Suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into someone else's sports car and drove off. In the rear-view mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behind him.
He drove for two hours until the engine began to sputter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up the apple tree. He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest.
The man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla. The man ran into an alley then, suddenly, he saw a giant shadow coming down the street ahead. The gorilla!
It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked straight into the bloodshot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly. This time there was no escape. As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint. The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, Tag! You're it! ”
Off to the boat for another long weekend. See you Sunday.
May 13, 2008
Riddles...
1. "The beginning of eternity, The end of time and space, The beginning of every end, And the end of every place."
Ian Healy of Ian Thomas Healy answered correctly with: The letter "E".
2. "I never was, am always to be, None ever saw me, nor ever will, And yet I am the confidence of all Who live and breathe on this terrestrial ball."
Ian Healy of The Popcorn Principle answered correctly with: Tomorrow.
3. "At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen."
Ivana of Communiqué by Ivanhoe and Barb of WillThink4Wine answered correctly with: Stars.
4. "Fatherless and motherless, Born without a skin, Spoke when it came into the world, And never spoke again."
Baba Doodlius of The Thoughts and Saying Of Baba Doodlius answered correctly with: A Fart.
5. "What gets wet when drying."
Anthony North of Anthony North- Eye on the World and Ian Healy of Perpetual Writer's Blog answered correctly with: Towel.
6. "There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were a lot of black babies."
Ian Healy of Adventures of the S-Team answered correctly with: Watermelon.
May 12, 2008
May 11, 2008
May 9, 2008
The Comment Game
I'm off to the boat for a long weekend and wanted to have something for you to do if you dropped by. What's better than getting to play the comment game? So play nice and I'll see you Sunday.
Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.
First comment: Hamburgers or Hot Dogs?
May 8, 2008
George W. and The Queen
President George W. Bush was representing the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England. The President joined Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeded through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, and the Queen and the President were waving to the cheering throngs.
Then suddenly the right rear horse produced a thunderous fart that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the coach, sending a horse-shit stench blowing through the coach. Uncomfortable, the two powerful figures try to focus their attentions elsewhere and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened.
But the Queen realized that ignoring what had just happened would be ridiculous. She explained: "Mr. President, please accept my regrets - I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
George W. replied, "No need to be ashamed, your majesty... it's just gas. But I gotta admit, until you confessed, I thought it was one of the horses!"Off to the boat for a long weekend. Tomorrow begins the COMMENT GAME, so come back and play. Have a great weekend everyone. Big hug.
May 7, 2008
Explorer in the Amazon
Once there was an explorer lost in the deepest part of the Amazon. After a few days, he finds himself suddenly surrounded by hundreds of blood-thirsty natives. He looks up to the sky and says, "Oh my God, I'm screwed!!"
All of a sudden, the sky opens up, and then there is a beam of light streaming down on him, and a voice booms out, "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your foot, and smash it onto the skull of the chief."
So the explorer looks down, and sees the stone. He picks it up, and bashed the life out of the chief. He stands on the chief, triumphant, huffing and puffing, with the bloody stone in his hand, while the tribesmen are in shock and disbelief.
Now, the sky opens up once again, and the voice booms out... "NOW, you're screwed."
May 6, 2008
World Rule Tag
Stine of Mother's Got A Dot Com tagged me with the World Rule meme. Here's the challenge:
If you were the ruler of the world and you could have anything you wanted as well as have people do anything you wanted, do you think you would get greedy and mean or would you be a good and fair ruler?RULES: This question came from “The Kids Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, PH.D. To play along: Answer the question above on your blog (Remember: Don’t respond as you think others want you to. Respond the way you actually feel!) Add your site name and link to the list below then pass the tag! I am now the supreme ruler of the world and I decree:
There will be world peace. Those that do not adhere to world peace will find themselves exiled from the rest of the human race. There will be no gangs, no criminal activity, or other fighting factions. This includes religious fighting. In other words, there will be a waring world and a peaceful world. We may share the same planet, but the waring world will not be allowed to infect the peaceful world.THE QUESTIONED BLOGGERS LIST: Jhong, Alpha, Women Xplore, Em, Something Purple, Our Journey to Life, My Planet Purple, Princess Bela, Princess Vien, cookie jar of entertainment, allinkorea, kim, idealpinkrose, korean food, Vamp Squad,Manna from Heaven,And Life Goes On, Can of Thoughts, A Mother’s Stuff, Housewife at Work, Pinay Jade, Dance of Motherhood, Mad About Kids, Healthy Moms , Mother’s Got A Dot Com, Comedy Plus,
The peaceful world will work as one to put an end to poverty and starvation. There will be no welfare rolls for people to do nothing while the rest pay the freight. Those that are truly in need would be cared for.
In the peaceful world there will be no addictions to alcohol, drugs, tobacco or any other addictive substance. All the pain and misery they cause will be a thing of the past.
Everyone in the peaceful world can eat anything they want without gaining weight. There will be no more major illnesses. Our quality of life will be excellent as long as we are alive. When it's time for us to depart this world we shall do so peacefully in our sleep.
What I have created in the here and now is heaven and hell on earth. I've just seperated the two so the innocent are not affected by the evil ones. In other words in the peaceful world it shall be the spirit of Christmas 365 days a year. In the other world it shall be the hell of their own creation. So say I.
I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you want to borrow, steal or just play along I'll add your link here.
My Favorite Bumper Stickers
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
All generalizations are false.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Forget about World Peace... Visualize using your turn signal.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
May 5, 2008
Tags, Tags and More Tags
I'm WAY behind in the tag department and I'd better get them done before I end up in some dungeon other than Mimi's famous dungeon. The first tag is from Travis of Trav's Thoughts who decided he wanted to create a meme (Trav's Trivia Meme) of his very own. He's also got a dungeon to stay out of. Everyone that knows me knows I hate dungeons.
Here's your 'structions:
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to:
I decided to go with the top eight Yahoo news stories today.
Clemens apologizes for ‘mistakes in personal life’- Roger Clemens apologized Monday for unspecified mistakes in his personal life but denied having an affair with a 15-year-old.
Eight Belles gave Derby's most valiant effort - Losing an animal like this … "I don't know what to say."
Cyclone kills at least 351 in Myanmar - A powerful cyclone killed more than 350 people and destroyed thousands of homes, state-run media said Sunday. Some dissident groups worried that the military junta running Myanmar would be reluctant to ask for international help.
Tips to help close a housing deal - Negotiation, flexibility, and creativity all help to get the transaction done in today's tough housing market.
High-tech presents for Mother's Day - Looking for something besides the usual flowers and cards for mom? Consider these cool new gadgets.
Get your resume in the right hands - Instead of blindly sending out your resume, follow these tactics to get your resume onto the desk of your future boss.
Inside the world's most expensive home - This billion-dollar house has 400,000 square feet of living space, luxury finishes, and killer views.
Big Arctic melt predicted for summer - Scientists forecast that the Arctic ice caps will continue to shrink, and that warming will soon affect the Antarctic.
I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you want to borrow or steal this cool meme, feel free to do so. Just let Travis know so he can visit your post.
I was tagged by Ian of The Random Forest and The Teach of Work of the Poet for the Seven Easy Questions and/or Getting To Know You meme. They are each called something different, but they are indeed the same meme. The Rules:
1.What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was still working and dreaming about retirement. I was also dating my current husband and that was a great time in my life.
2.What are the 5 things on my to do list for today(not in any particular order).
Blogging,
Watering plants,
More blogging,
Finishing my tags, and
Even more blogging?
3. Snacks I enjoy.
Cheetos,
Cookies,
Pumpkin Pie with whipped cream, and
Chocolate.
4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire.
Buy a bigger boat,
Buy a home for my son,
Set up my grandbabies college funds, and
Move out of California the welfare state.
5. Three of my bad habits.
Too much time blogging,
Exercise more, and
Listen more than talk.
6. Five places I have lived.
Tillamook, Oregon
Walla Walla, Washington
Salem, Oregon
San Diego, Califoria
Modesto, California
7. Five jobs I have had.
Waitress,
Bartender,
Deputy,
Sergeant, and
Lieutenant.
I'm not going to tag anyone for this one either. If you want to play, borrow or steal please do so. Have a great day.
The Accident Report
Here follows a tale of an accident report form filed by a bricklayer:
"I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You ask for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I was working alone on the roof of a six-story building. When I completed my work I found I had some bricks left over which later were found to weigh 240lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135lbs.
Needless to say i proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel which was proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep in to the pulley.
Fortunately I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly on to the rope. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel . Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when i fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the pile of bricks I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its rapid descent back towards me..."
May 3, 2008
Are We There Yet? and Wading Through my Stream of Consciousness...
What a great time I had last night. Linda of Are We There Yet? loves Mexican food, but just can't get it in Connecticut, so she traveled all the way to California for the sole purpose to getting authentic Mexican food. Okay, I'm stretching the truth here. Actually she came to visit one of her dearest friends (Cyndi) and meet a couple of blogger's along the way. Her choice of restaurant? Cancun, in downtown Stockton, California. We were not disappointed. The food was yummy and the company even better.
Zane and I were the first to arrive and we knew that Katherine of Wading Through my Stream of Consciousness..., and Teamster would be showing up along with Linda and Cyndi. All of a sudden all of us were meeting and greeting each other. It was a wonder anyone could get in or out of the front doors as we were hogging the entire foyer area. Finally we decided to find a table for six. We had a regular gabfest about anything and everything. It was awesome. 
There will be more later, but I just wanted to let everyone know that we had a great time. I know one thing for sure, I'm going to make a great effort to meet the blogger's that are near and dear to my heart. Last night was very, very special for me.
Related Articles:
Linda - Yes, Cyndi. There Really Are Bloggers!
Katherine - Comedy and Connecticut at Cancun
Linda - It Was the Best of Times!
Katherine - My Offline Life?
What Color Are Your Bicycle Shorts?
May 2, 2008
Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people.
He said, 'My son, the battle is between 2 'wolves' inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'Which wolf wins?'
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'
May 1, 2008
Do Not Eat Chocolate!
We were raised on chocolate as kids and even into adulthood. I will never eat it again. I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any. It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.
This is what happens when you eat chocolate! This is a warning, send this to everyone you care about. It could happen to you...or them.
Chocolate can cause... small feet!
Warn everyone!!!
Found this over at Weezy's Fun Zone and just had to rip it off.
