Favorite Post 2007 Meme

Peter over at Necessary Skills gave me a great honor along with a tag for my favorite post in 2007. The originator of this meme is Jeremy Jacobs @ Corporate Presenter.

Now I do goofy stuff so this really made me think (Peter has a habit of making his readers do that too). What have I read lately that really touched me? Then I thought of a great letter a young lady wrote honoring our military personnel. First of all this was a class assignment. Now I just don't see anything like this happening in California. Miss Dub thought that this letter would go to Iraq, but fate had a hand it where it would go...Yes, it went to Sgt. Dub, her father who is serving his second tour of duty in Afghanistan. I present Miss Dub's letter.

"Dear U.S. Soldier,

My name is ______, and I would like to thank you for all that you have done for our country. I know what your family is going through with you half way around the world, only able to talk to them every few days, sometimes longer. My dad is with the 45th infantry and the 180th infantry from Oregon. This is his second tour to Afghanistan. I really appreciated everything you are doing to help keep this great nation free.

I hope you and your comrades are kept safe. Our prayers are with you and the rest of the troops. I deeply cherish the sacrifice you make on a daily basis to be away from your family, friends, home, and country. I know it's hard, but you seem to always keep strong and never give up. This country may have some people who don't appreciate what you are doing, but know that everything you do is for a good cause. To keep America the land of the free and the home of the brave.

when you troops come home, you help make it the home of the brave. I don't go to at night without praying for you and the others serving with you. I can't wait till you and your comrades can come home to your families! It will be such a joyous reunion.

So, with that said, I thank you again for everything you have done in order to keep this great nation free. You of all people know that freedom is never free. I hope God keeps you safe throughout the rest of your deployment.

God bless you, your comrades, families and everyone else serving to endure and protect freedom."

Those tagged please provide a link to Corporate Presenter as the originator of this meme and to the person who tagged you.

My tags:

Callie Ann @ Scrappin...with life in this New Year of 2007
Sarge Charlie @ Sarge Charlie
Melon @ Meloncutter Musings Read More... Summary Only...

Manic Monday #6 Silent/Silence

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

The Vow of Silence

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.

After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
Manic Monday Participants

1. empress bee (of the high sea) 2. Travis 3. Gattina 4. Callie 5. lynda 6. Lisa 7. Jamie

8. Mz. Jackson 9. Amazing Gracie 10. Debo Blue 11. Skittles 12. Get Your Blog On! 13. SargeCharlie 14. Linda

15. Bridget 16. Crazy Working Mom 17. Rhonda 18. Cade 19. Peanut...

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Adam and Eve

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.

She will praise you!

She will bear your children, and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

"She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Of course the rest is history... Read More... Summary Only...

Have a Great Weekend...

We are off to the boat for the weekend. I didn't

make my usual rounds today, so sorry to the

one's I've missed. I will catch you Sunday or

Monday. Have a great weekend y'all!

Read More... Summary Only...

Becoming Illegal

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224-3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as " in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most a ppreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040. Read More... Summary Only...

Blogger's Choice Awards

Sticky Post -
Scroll down for newer posts.

I've been nominated for "Best Humor Blog"!
Best Humor Blog - Comedy+ @ Comedy Plus
Click on my link to vote!

Some of my blogging buddies have been nominated for
various awards over at Blogger's Choice Awards too.

Best Animal Blogger - Morgan @ Purrchance to Dream

Best Photography Blog - Ryan @ Ryan's Calamity

Best Blog of All Time - Claire @ A Little Piece of Me

Best Blog About Stuff - Skittles @ Skittles Place

Best Parenting Blog - Tish @ CrAzY Working Mom

Hottest Mommy Blogger - Kia @ The Buzz Queen

Best Blog Design - Linda @ Are We There Yet?

Best Celebrity Blogger - Ross @ The Ross Blog

Best Political Blog - Sgt. Dub @ SgtDub

Best Blog About Stuff - Sgt. Dub @ SgtDub

Best Blog of All Time - Sgt. Dub @ SgtDub

Best Food Blog - Mags @ Ms Maggie Moo Talks 2 U

Click on any link you wish to view or vote for and it will take you directly to that nomination. So, head on over to the Blogger's Choice Awards and vote for us. Sign-up is easy and it's FREE!

Read More... Summary Only...

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I dialed what I thought was Robyn’s number.

A man answered, saying, “Hello.”

I politely said, “This is Chris. May I please speak with Robyn?”

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, “There’s no Robyn here. Get the right f**king number!” and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!” It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “asshole calling” would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?”

He yelled “NO!” and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his back window, which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”

“Yes, it is,” he said.

“Can you tell me where I can see it?” I asked.

“Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Ventura. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out in front.”

“What’s your name?” I asked. “My name is Don Hansen,” he said.

“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”

“I’m home every evening after five.”

“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”

“Yes?”

“Don, you’re an asshole!” Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1. “Hello.” “You’re an asshole!” But I didn’t hang up.

“Are you still there?” he asked. “Yeah,” I said.

“Stop calling me,” he screamed.

“Make me,” I said.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Don Hansen.”

“Yeah? Where do you live?”

“Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Ventura, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.”

He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”

I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,” and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2. “Hello?” he said.

“Hello, asshole!” I said.

He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…”

“You’ll what?” I said.

“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.

I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Ventura, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd., Ventura.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch the two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger Management really works! Read More... Summary Only...

Big Game Hunter

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal.

The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.

They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again.

Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.

He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this blackeye?"

His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe." Read More... Summary Only...

Things Men Say...

What men really mean when they say...

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up." Read More... Summary Only...

Wordless Wednesday #6

Wordless Wednesday Participants

1. Donna 2. gffreebushtelegraph 3. Jarid and Caydon's blog 4. Kristy 5. FelineFrisky - Diane 6. Bridget 7. babytalkers 8. Linda 9. karen (miscmum) 10. anyhow 11. Crazy Working Mom 12. realhorses 13. Rav`N 14. incog & nito 15. maiylah 16. Lynne-And Babies Make Six 17. Liza's Eyview 18. Amazing Gracie 19. Naeva - Mom of 2 20. Alison 21. Stine

22. mar 23. jams o donnell 24. letha 25. Villager 26. Toni 27. empress bee (of the high sea) 28. empress bee (of the high sea) 29. empress bee (of the high sea) 30. The Meezer Gang 31. PJ's Wild Daisies 32. Amber's Crazy Bloggin' Canuck 33. Dixie 34. Cigarettes Style Blog 35. Gadget and cigarettes Blog 36. Green Eyed Girl 37. Lazy Daisy 38. NspiredByFaith 39. mags 40. Janne 41. It's A Blog Eat Blog World 42. Skittles

43. The Estrogen Files 44. kaliblue 45. Mz. Jackson 46. palmtreefanatic 47. Alissa 48. Our Happy Happenings 49. amy 50. Autofocused 51. Mark Caldwell 52. SargeCharlie 53. This Eclectic Life 54. Simone's Butterfly 55. shellynn 56. The Pauly's Pics and Prose 57. TeaMouse 58. JHS 59. Michelle in Mx 60. Rhonda 61. callie 62. Claire Rachael Pitt

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The Texan and His Bride

A Texan and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning.

"Congratulations!" says the clerk. Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?"

"Naw, thanks," says the cowboy. "I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it. Read More... Summary Only...

Another Corporate Lesson...

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity! Read More... Summary Only...

You Might Be a Republican If...

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend."

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Honey."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said, "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.

You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the "liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.

You think all artists are gay.

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes. Read More... Summary Only...

Manic Monday #5 Sun/Sunning

Where the sun doesn't shine...

A man is sitting in the bar when he notices another patron a few stools away. The guy had a body like Charles Atlas but his head was the size of a thimble.

The first man said, "Please excuse me for staring but I can't help but be curious as to why your body is so well developed but your head is so small." The man says, "Buy me a drink and I'll tell you." The drink was bought and the story began.

"I was in the navy and my ship was sunk by a torpedo. I was the only survivor and I managed to make it to a deserted island a few miles away. I had been there for several months and was sitting on the beach one day waiting for a bird or a fish to come by, so I would have something to eat. Looking up I saw a mermaid sunning on a nearby rock. She swam over to me and informed me that she was a magical mermaid and could grant me 3 wishes.

"Great, I'd like to be rescued." She slapped the water with her tail and a ship appeared, sailing straight for my island. Next I asked for a body like Charles Atlas. Another slap of her tail and here it is.

Then noticing how beautiful she was and all my other wished fulfilled I asked if I could make love to her. She said no, it just wouldn't work, her being half fish and all, so I said "Well, how about a little head then?"

The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun

Manic Monday Participants

1. empress bee (of the high sea) 2. Another Desert Rat 3. Crazy Working Mom 4. Jamie 5. Travis

6. Meloncutter 7. Sanni 8. Danielle 9. Skittles 10. Mz. Jackson

11. SargeCharlie 12. Blog That Mommy!

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Boosting the Blog/Linky Love

Callie Ann over at Scrappin.........with life in this New Year 2007 tagged me with this Technorati Linky Love. This is my first tag, but I understand that this is meant to drive new folks to your site. That's a good thing. Secondarily, if you are into rankings, then Google will like you much more too.

Go visit Callie Ann, as she is a daily stop for me. You will love her to pieces after the first visit. It's not hard to do, so just follow the instructions and have fun...

******start copy here******

Here are the directions:

1. Write a short paragraph at the beginning of your post and link back to the blog that put you on the list in the paragraph. This isn't a suggestion; you need to break up the duplicate content. Someone took the time to add you so the least you can do is give them an extra link back.

2. Copy the list of originals below COMPLETELY and add it to you blog. If you would like a different keyword for your blog then change it when you do your post and it should pass to most blogs with that keyword.

3. Take the adds from the blog that added you and place all of them in the "Originals" list.Add at least 1 new blog that you KNOW is using the DO Follow plug-in to the list in the "MY ADDS" section (add no more than 5!). Let the people you've added know so that they can keep the list going.

My additions:
Skittles Place
A little piece of me

The Originals:
Are we there yet
Comedy Plus
Rocks in my Dryer
Scrappin.........with life in this New Year of 2007
My Crazy Life in Pictures
Wanders World
Squirrels Nest
The Life Of A School Bus Driver
Charmed and Dangerous
Finding Life's Enchantments
Mom is Nutz
Oh Mommy Dearest
Midlife Musings
Utterly Geek
Whatever I Feel Like
My Dandelion Patch
Geeky Speak
3 Day Mom
BuyMeBlog
My Single Mom Life Read More... Summary Only...

You Might Be A Democrat If...

You think "ethics" is an eastern European country.

You've named your kids with hyphenated first and last names.

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were only willing to redistribute their wealth.

You've ever referred to someone as a "bigot or Nazi".

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a married man.

You oppose the death penalty, but support abortion.

You don't support school choice for others, only for yourself.

You think you might remember laughing once as an adult and feeling guilty about it.

You support diversity, as long as others agree with you.

You've referred to moral fiber thinking it was a new man made textile.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "you hypocrite".

You've ever said, "the Bill Of Rights is outdated".

You answer to "No One".

You support PETA and Green Peace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb, and wear leather garments.

You protest your neighbor clearing their yard of weeds.

You only let your kids watch PBS and listen to NPR.

You scream at the thought of agreeing with a Republican.

You've argued that Western values are no values.

You agree that all the world's problems can be traced back to white Anglo-Saxon men taking advantage of others.

When people say "Marx," you think, "to bad his idea didn't work".

You've ever yelled, "capitalist".

You still wear the Birkenstocks you purchased in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 laws to control guns.

You really think that guns kill people. Not people kill people.

You want to protest something but don't know what.

You've ever said "I support civil liberties, but not personal liberties."

You will not admit that trees are a renewable resource.

You've ever said "reduce paper, save a tree".

You donate money because it makes you "feel good".

You came of age in the '60s and don't understand what went wrong.

You justify lying cheating Democrats because Republicans lie and cheat.

You ever start or end an argument on the phrase, "you are closed minded".

You never told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can" because he chooses to do so.

You think denial is a virtue.

You don't mind contributing 4 months of your salary to the government. You're only sorry it can't be more.

You believe that everyone else is responsible for you but you. Read More... Summary Only...

A Glimpse of Our Upcoming Weekend

Cool Slideshows

See you Sunday :) Read More... Summary Only...

Jesus and the Redneck

A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came in.

With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slowly.

He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.

He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar.

The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.

The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"

The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!" Read More... Summary Only...

Wordless Wednesday #5

Wordless Wednesday Participants

1. The Twinkies 2. Linda 3. Angel Mama ( Pearls of Wisdom) 4. Donna 5. Amelia Elias 6. SargeCharlie 7. Dawn 8. Crazy Working Mom 9. madd 10. Blog That Mommy! 11. PJ's Wild Daisies 12. Kuanyin 13. CKC 14. maiylah 15. Simone's Butterfly 16. Ingrid

17. jams o donnell 18. anyhow 19. karen (miscmum) 20. Stine 21. letha 22. Toni 23. Lazy Daisy 24. barry 25. This Eclectic Life 26. Brian 27. empress bee (of the high sea) 28. Jamie 29. Amber's Crazy Bloggin' Canuck 30. Mama Duck 31. Jarid and Caydon blog 32. busy

33. L.L. Barkat 34. It's A Blog Eat Blog World 35. Dixie 36. Mark Caldwell 37. Ryan Velting 38. amy 39. gffreebushtelegraph 40. Lori 41. Our Happy Happenings 42. wrchili 43. Get Your Blog On! 44. Claire Rachael Pitt 45. Amazing Gracie

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Walking the Dog

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home." Read More... Summary Only...

Life's Simple Pleasures :)

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Perks of Being Over 50