Funny Things Brits Say... 1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
2. ...and their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
3. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
4. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house.
5. I request assistance to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
6. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.
7. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
8. Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old age pensioner and need it badly.
9. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
10. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
11. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
12. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
13. ...and he’s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.
| 1. busy 2. empress bee (of the high sea) 3. Friday's Child 4. damozel 5. julia 6. maggie 7. Malcolm 8. Cheaper Than a Happy Meal 9. Lori 10. kat 11. Lara 12. Starrlight 13. Luka | 14. Crazy Working Mom 15. anyapples 16. Gattina 17. Lori 18. Sparky Duck 19. Ann(ie) 20. Becki 21. Joely 22. Gabriella Hewitt 23. Mom Not Mum 24. Harlekwin 25. Grace 26. bundle-o-contradictions | 27. Tink 28. Denise Patrick 29. This Eclectic Life 30. Maribeth 31. Robin 32. Susan Helene Gottfried 33. Deb - Mom of 3 Girls 34. Xakara 35. Elle Fredrix 36. tynz 37. Stine |
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53 Brilliant Opinions:
Me thinks you've been hanging out with Stephen Fry too long. LOL!
Cheers.
ha ha ha, i hope our little claire sees this!
smiles, bee
They are hilarious lists. It really made me laugh and smile. I think your lists are better than mine in making people smile or laugh.
Those are great. I will be interested to see what Nicholas (a Brit and a T13er) has to say about them. I told him to check yours out!
You'll also like his 13 pieces of misleading advice to American tourists.
Oh, and do drop by our blog as well...
This is my favorite:
"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."
Loved your TT!
Yeah Where is Clair, she sure talks funny. if i could just get her to podunk for a few days i could give her some learning....
oooh my. LOL. double talk.
great TT! hahaha
LMAO...thats some funny stuff:)
Your list is hilarious! Still laughing after reading it twice! Hahahah
Happy TT!
This is great! Being a Brit-o-phile since John, Paul, George and Ringo landed in New York in 1964, I think this is just a riot!
great TT! And thanks for the laugh!
Great TT!!
hilarious! Great List! Happy TT'ing
Love the list. Who knew the Brits had a sense of humor?
Oh my goodness! Those so made me laugh!!!
You're so funny.
I loved #12 especially. :)
That was pretty funny! Happy TT13
:P
hahahhaha good stuff!!
(((((standing ovation)))))))
You rock the house Comedy ;D
Hahaha ! I had to pay attention not to spit my coffee over the keyboard ! Wonderful !
LOL!! Great 13 list.
Funny stuff! They are even funnier when you read them and imagine someone with a British accent saying them.
Great one Comedy, and yes we Brits do have a sense of humour lol. Look forward to more :)
ROFL!!! If I would hear #2 ---about the balls and fence, I'd be on the floor/ground and literally laughing my butt off!
GREAT LIST
if I had a nickel for every time I hear #11, Id have a nickel
Those are hilarious!! I love 12.
BUWHAHAHAHAHAHA... Those are absolutely hilarious....
SMOOCHES~
*giggles* Thanks for the laughs--I needed it!
#6 & #13 are totall pissers!
Thank you for visiting my TT last week. This week I am thanking my fellow TTer's. Come by and get your thanks!
This was great!
Years ago one of my employees had the opportunity to study in England for her third year of college. Imagine the stir she caused whenever she'd introduce herself... her name is Randi!
Happy TT! Thanks for visiting my list today and no, it wasn't cold, just cloudy.
Hello there. Nice list heheh. Thanks for dropping by my blog. Have a blessed thursday to you. :)
Giggling away merrily here :)
Thank you for visiting my TT last week. (I'm behind.)
Linda
Thanks for the favorite! :)
I love English! :-)
Thanks for visiting Maia's picture show!
Hilarious!!! I'm sure they are harmless, but on this side of the world they're a hoot!
Great TT!
How funny! Where in the world did you come up with those? Have you been talking to Claire?
These are all too funny!
Between you and Nicholas I am having a GREAT day today :).
Oh, I love it! What an awesome list!!
(btw, ShapeShifter is my fictional band. I devote my blog to their exploits, and those of the people around them. It's great fun. Now that you're more clued in, come hang with us! Feel free to ask any question. The only stupid one I've ever heard was my son asking if he had to buckle his seat belt when he got in the car. Everything else is fair game.)
Happy TT! Thanks for stopping by!
Those are hilarious, especially nine and ten, oh.. and twelve, well, I enjoyed the entire post! :)
Ann
Oh those are great! Love the list :)
Gee, did I notice a bit of a theme going on in that list? Very funny stuff!
I'll have #9 in my head ALL DAY.
Quite a list. :)
~X
Busy91 – No, I really haven’t been hanging out with Stephen Fry.
Empress Bee – I was hoping too, but now she won’t be back until Monday.
Friday’s Child – I thought your list was a hoot too.
Damozel – Well, I hope he has a good sense of humor.
Julia – I liked that one too.
Sarge – Yea, she does talk funny doesn’t she? You could indeed give her some learning.
Maggie – Yes, double talk.
Kelly – Thanks.
Lori – It’s tough to make these TT funny every week.
Kat – I’m glad you liked.
Lara Angelina – You are most welcome for the laughs.
Starrlight – Thanks.
Luka – Happy TT to you too.
Lazy Daisy – Yes, they do have a sense of humor.
Crazy Working Mom – I try to be funny. Sometimes it doesn’t work though.
Frigga – Happy TT to you too.
Roger – You are pretty funny too Roger. So is Oger, Tado and the new dog is going to be funny too…
Gattina – Spitting coffee over your keyboard is not good.
Cowboytf – Thanks.
Malcolm – I hadn’t thought of adding the British accent. Excellent.
Colin – Yes, I see that you do indeed have a sense of humor.
Hootin’anni – Glad to hear it. I had to read that one over myself. I finally got my mind out of the gutter to figure out what they really meant.
Sparky Duck – I like that.
Ann Aguirre – Yes, 12 is a good one.
Dixiechick – Smooches to you too my friend.
Joely Sue Burkhart – Glad I made you laugh when you needed it most.
Gabriella Hewitt – I’ll swing over shortly.
Harlekwin – Oh my…Oh my… Randi? Bwahahahah.
Grace of Angels88 – You have a blessed TT too.
Linda R. Moore – Giggling away merrily is good.
Bundle-o-contradictions – You are most welcome.
Tink – I do too, and you’re welcome.
Denise Patrick – They are harmless and it doesn’t matter where you come from, sooner or later something silly is going to be said.
Shelly – People send me tons of things. If they make me laugh I post them.
Maribeth – Thanks.
Robin – Glad to hear that.
Susan Helene Gottfried – Glad you liked and thanks for filling me in on ShapeShifter. I feel much better now.
Ann – Yes, they are all good. Glad you enjoyed them.
Deb – Mom of 3 girls – Glad you liked them.
Linda – Yes, there was a theme.
Xakara – Sorry, NOT!
Oh, dear. I'm LMAO. I think I think to write some of these down and email them to freinds.
thanks for stopping by my TT!
Elle Fredrix - Glad you liked them and help yourself. :)
My son came home from England with a T-shirt that said "Mind the Gap," which in this country translates to "Watch your step."
Colleen - I wouldn't have known if you hadn't told me. Thanks for sharing.
I love humor that is not meant to be funny...the innocent kind. That is usually the funniest. Great job as usual. And, thanks for the very kind comment you left for me. Your opinion means lot to me.
Woohoo - this is one for my British (Ex-)in-laws...
And Claire, of course!
PS - no offense taken - why do you think I fed the stuff to the pigs?
Just to reassure you - yesterday I had folks over for barbecued spare ribs, marinated filet of beef, salad, veg' and new potatoes... And cake, of course. We do normal, too, lol!
LOL, I just e-mailed this list to my Brit friends, it's hilarious!
Jos - You're right, that kind of humor is always the best.
Stine - I hope Claire sees it. I did it with her in mind.
Stine - Glad you didn't take offense. I was going eeewww as you were cleaning out the fridge.
Mar - Hope they like it too.
I have seen it :)
I don't understand whats meant to be funny? I am always getting somebody in with a big tool to trim my bush.
I will have to pull out some new tricks for this thursday!
Well, everyone was thinking about you and what you would think. We think it's funny. Congratulations on having somebody with a big tool trim your bush. Can't wait to see what you do this Thursday.
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